Palooka will battle anyone, anytime, anywhere - he seems to love it, even though he always takes a beating. After a terrific pounding at the hands of, for example, Kung-Fu Master, he'll just struggle to his feet and wobble back into the ring. His astonishing ability to absorb punishment leads one...

Nitpick compensates for his general weakness as a Warrior by pouncing on errors, however irrelevant to the discussion, and using them to discredit the enemy. For example, if his opponent in a sports forum conflict casually mentioned the Cubs' 4-2 victory in the 1908 World Series, Nitpick...

Unsteady in his knowledge of computers and cyberculture Newbie perambulates the internet, blithely stumbling his way into discussion forums. He seldom reads the FAQs and is utterly clueless about the basics of netiquette. When engaged in battle Newbie's usual tactical gambit is to feign...

Netiquette Nazi is in control and she does not tolerate backtalk. The guidelines for every discussion forum are clearly posted and she demands obedience. If any of you sniveling dogs break the rules or deviate from strict observance of netiquette you WILL be punished

Not every kid on the internet is an Enfant Provocateur; sometimes they're just Net Rat. Net Rat spends countless hours in front of the computer and loves to play at being a grownup. Imagine your chagrin if in a love and romance forum you've been pouring out your anguish over a recent messy breakup...

Nanny tirelessly monitors forum discussions and makes it his mission to see to it that everyone behaves. While he is quick to admonish for off-topic messages and petty squabbling, he is generally rather slow to anger. Nanny rarely wades into pitched battles, rather he simply pulls the plug...

Lurker does not participate in normal forum discourse, but he's out there...watching, reading every message. Generally, he is quite harmless. In fact, his silence usually reflects a natural reticence rather than any sinister motives. He is content to let the other people haul the conversational...

Don't try to understand Loopy's messages - they will forever remain opaque to all but himself. Loopy is easily aroused and exuberant in battle and fearlessly flings himself at any Warrior - even Kung-Fu Master. Loopy's main weapons consist of a disarming array of nonsequiturs, tautologies,...

Lonely Guy doesn't get out much, and often his social isolation can drive him to do battle just for the human contact. Compassion dictates that we shouldn't get too upset with his antics. Nonetheless, Lonely Guy can be very fierce. Remember, he has nothing better to do than stew over real...

L'Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.

Lamer is a Warrior who appears in different guises to different people, and is therefore difficult to describe in full detail. Nonetheless, he is readily identifiable because of his mediocre wit, utter lack of insight and vacuous comment . You begin to sense Lamer's presence when you are able to...

Though Kung-Fu Masters are powerful Warriors, they generally choose not to fight. Many lesser Warriors delude themselves into thinking that they are masters of war, but few are the genuine article. The true Kung-Fu master fully appreciates his own superiority and is therefore unruffled by petty...

WARNING!!! YOU MUST READ THIS!!! Klaxon, the internet Chicken Little, raises the alarm for each and every paranoid conspiracy theory, Federal Big-Brother scheme, internet hoax, and latest computer virus. No black helicopter alert is so ludicrous, no urban legend so implausible, that he will not...

Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in...

As a forum participant Jekyll and Hyde always plays by the rules and is consistently cordial and helpful - a model netizen, until one day he comes completely uncorked and lashes out without warning. His unanticipated thunderbolts can temporarily rout even the sturdiest Warriors, and it often takes...

Issues has an issue and she wants it to be everyone's issue. The discussion could be about fondue pots and Issue would rage about the multinational corporate conspiracy to exploit fondue pot workers. Of course, Issues is found among all ideological persuasions - anti-gun mothers, gun totin'...

Innocence Abused guards her purity jealously and cannot countenance crude language and gets the vapors over frank references to intimate bodily functions. This digital ingenue is a very weak Warrior, and is a favorite target of L'Enfant Provocateur, Jerk, Troller and Evil Clown, but...

Impostor is a digital Proteus who changes his persona whenever it suits his purposes. That 21 year old co-ed from Arizona State you met in a discussion forum may, in fact, be a retired steel worker from Pittsburgh. Impostor will claim to be black, white, rich, poor, young, old, straight or gay, and...

There are two distinct varieties of Ideologue, conservative and liberal, but each being smug and self satisfied in his certitudes, they are really flip sides of the same coin. Though Ideologue's "opinions" merely represent a loose collection of intellectual conceits he is nonetheless...

Howlers generally populate academic, technical or special interest forums in which particular issues are discussed. Newbies to such forums often wander in thinking they have found some devastating new argument that contradicts accepted wisdom on the forum topic. Of course, if the forum is...