Moving on, growing up
 

My older son, for many years my "baby," will be heading off to college in
the fall. I've not really had this experience before; his sister's "leaving
home" was much more dramatic, and less positive. While he's going away,
he's not going far; just to the Big State University about 80 miles away.

He's been such as asset to our family. I think I'm going to miss him quite
a lot, even though he'll probably be home once every month or two, and for
holidays and such.

Does anybody have any advice about how to help him move away, grow up, and
face his adult future with confidence? He's at an interesting time of life,
I think, where he wants to be independent but doesn't want to pay for it! I
think the reality of life on his own is going to be upsetting to him at
times (he's rather spoiled).

Best,
Ann

--
Where we are weak, harshness and fear will not make us strong;
where we are strong, gentleness and forebearance will not make us weak. --
Jamie

Moving on, growing up
 

"Ann Porter" wrote:

Does anybody have any advice about how to help him move away, grow up, and
face his adult future with confidence? He's at an interesting time of
life,
I think, where he wants to be independent but doesn't want to pay for it!
I
think the reality of life on his own is going to be upsetting to him at
times (he's rather spoiled).

Oooh! Oooh! Eyes closed, fingers in ears

Too soon! Too soon! Don't let's talk about it!

In other words, I need this as well, though not for a couple more years, and
I can barely stand to think about it. My oldest is spending a month in
Boston this summer, with her aunt and uncle, and I expect she's learning
some of the things she can manage on her own. I sometimes tell myself that,
in a lot of cultures through history, she could be a wife running a
household of her own at this age.

I do worry about the money management as well -- even though she tried Ramen
noodles not long ago to see if she could stand eating on a limited budget.
Personal finance is one of our topics for homeschool this year.

Peggy

--
WWSD ***** What Would Samwise Do?

Moving on, growing up
 

I posed this to my husband, who works with college students as a career and has
advised many, many parents on exactly this topic. He says his best advice is
pretty simple -- just exude confidence in his ability to succeed. He says
parents who give their kids the gift of believing that the kid will be
successful in college tend to have kids who do better.

He says don't get too wigged out by the lows (there will be some) but instead
take the attitude of "that's rough, but I know you can handle it. What do
*you* think you should do?" rather than solve all of his problems.

If big problems do occur (unlikely) make the college your partner in solving
them. He says many parents wait until a crisis to talk with the college --
that, or they call assuming the worst on the college's part. Neither is
particularly helpful.

Hope this helps -- good luck to you all! (I feel so old, Ann!!!).

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 11