"choosing" gifts for kids
 

Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

When people RSVP they usually ask what the child would like. I say then no
play-doh or whatever I don't like.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.


I have informed my mom that I wanted my kids to recieve more educational
toys then not for gifts. While I dont have a problem with Barbie I HATE the
Bratz dolls so I am hoping we can avoid those. I think one thing that will
help in my quest to get more educational toys is that most of my family
knows I want to homeschool.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Tell her Thank you verry much but my daughter is really into INSERT
CHARECTER HERE right now and would really love a cake with that on it.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Xavier due 10/17/04

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

On 2 Aug 2004 10:39:04 -0700, (ted) wrote:
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

My whole family and all my in-laws knew I did not want Barbie in my
house. So for my oldest daughter's 5th birthday, she got: a Barbie
house, a Barbie Jeep, a Barbie dog, a Barbie horse, a Ken, a few of
the Kelly dolls and I lost count of how many Barbies. I was so mad.
And that Christmas both the kids got Barbie sheets for their beds. It
was like everyone did it on purpose. I just didn't want Barbie crap
cluttering up the house, but it did. I finally got rid of most of it
last year.
So if your family is like mine, they won't care if you tell them no
Barbies. I have no idea why people think Barbie is mandantory for
girls.
Marie

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

ted wrote:
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say
in the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small
book as a present"?

No, it is not appropriate. It is not appropriate to say anything about
presents in the invitation. As Sophie suggested, you can make
recommendations during RSVP calls, but only if asked. Presents are gifts,
however, voluntarily given, and as such, it is not polite to limit or
constrain the giver.

In fact I would love to say "please donot bring
anything related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally
I detest barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s)
like barbie stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't
want them to be either.

I advise getting over this. Your children are not you and, as such, they
will have different likes and dislikes than you have. If your daughter likes
Barbies and/or pink, frilly things, that's *her* choice, not yours. (And
rest assured, most of these childhood likes/dislikes are typically phases,
anyway. I loved playing with Barbies as a child, but I'm about the least
girly, pink and frilly person on the planet.)

The above was partly brought to you by a conversation I had with a friend
yesterday. Her husband and her son (19yo) are at loggerheads because the son
has chosen to attend a Christian church (parents are
Unitarian-Universalists). It breaks my heart to see parents get into fights
with their children because their children do what they are supposed to do
and grow up to be free-thinking individuals who are capable of making their
own choices.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Leave no child a dime."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

Marie wrote:
I have no idea why people think Barbie is mandantory for
girls.

Maybe because the typical 4-6yo girl likes them and they're not exactly the
spawn of the devil?
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Leave no child a dime."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

Its inappropriate, and I think Ericka would agree, because its not ok to
expect people to bring presents, period, to a birthday party. Or at least
that's how Miss Manners would look at it.

That said, you're gonna have to suck up your dislike of Barbie probably.
And about a million other things in at least the first 5 years of your
daughter's life. I am very much not the girly girl. While I love make up
and clothes, I'm not all about pink and frilly. Of our 5 girls, 2 of them
are the pink and frilly. I've come to tolerate Barbie and baby dolls and
pink frilly dress up clothes, because its useless to try and force them into
enjoying things I like. My 6 year old will never love baseball, and I will
never love Barbie. We'll compromise.

Denise

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

ted wrote:
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.



I remember getting an invitation several years ago for the
eldest child which asked "Please, no Barbies". Worked for
me; usually when we would RSVP I'd ask for ideas anyway.

Lesley

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

Some might think this is tacky, but check into birthday gift registries (I
think Wal*Mart has one) and put in the invitation something to the effect of
"child is registered at Wal*Mart."
Peggy

"choosing" gifts for kids
 

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

What is it with well-meaning people and Barbie cakes? Is it simply because
they *can* make a cake with a doll in it that they feel they *must*?

Anyway, this would be a good time for a distinctly non-Barbie theme for that
Birthday.

I would probably not specify which gifts we prefer, unless asked. Then I'd
say "she's really into [crafts, fish, books, gardening, American Girl,
whatever]." I'd love to say "NO BARBIES OR BRATZ, NO GUNS OR GUN-LIKE
THINGS, NO STUFFED ANIMALS, NO MAKE-UP, AND WE HAVE ENOUGH BUBBLE TOYS AND
TEA SETS FOR AN ARMY," but I wouldn't.

My daughter got a Barbie as a birthday gift from a friend when she turned 4.
I put it away and let her have all her other gifts. She didn't miss the
Barbie. I have a personal objection to the acquisitional nature of
Barbie-play. If she asked for Barbie, I'd think about it, we'd talk about
it, and do something about it. But she knows about Barbie, her friends play
with Barbie and she'll grab one and join in, she's been down the Barbie
aisle at the toy store, but she hasn't shown an interest in obtaining a
Barbie of her own.

So far, so good.
--
Marnie
--