OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old
now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I feel really horrible, but at first I was so exhausted I couldn't care less, and now, I've been bleeding and cramping since August when I got my mirena put in. My doc says it can take up to 6 months for that to stop, or I can just have it taken out and go with another form of bc. I really like not having to think about bc, and I've made it this far, hoping things will get better soon. Something else doesn't seem to be quite right either - I just don't want it. Like there is zero "urge". I'm beginning to feel defective. What is wrong with me? I feel like a horrible wife. My husband is very supportive, but I know he misses the intimacy. I'm not sure what to do. "Just do it"? |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
determined skrev:
I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I feel really horrible, but at first I was so exhausted I couldn't care less, and now, I've been bleeding and cramping since August when I got my mirena put in. My doc says it can take up to 6 months for that to stop, or I can just have it taken out and go with another form of bc. I really like not having to think about bc, and I've made it this far, hoping things will get better soon. Something else doesn't seem to be quite right either - I just don't want it. Like there is zero "urge". I'm beginning to feel defective. What is wrong with me? I feel like a horrible wife. My husband is very supportive, but I know he misses the intimacy. I'm not sure what to do. "Just do it"? At least: You're not alone!!! I had NO sex the first year. Tine, Denmark |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
"Workingmom" wrote in message ... determined skrev: I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I feel really horrible, but at first I was so exhausted I couldn't care less, and now, I've been bleeding and cramping since August when I got my mirena put in. My doc says it can take up to 6 months for that to stop, or I can just have it taken out and go with another form of bc. I really like not having to think about bc, and I've made it this far, hoping things will get better soon. Something else doesn't seem to be quite right either - I just don't want it. Like there is zero "urge". I'm beginning to feel defective. What is wrong with me? I feel like a horrible wife. My husband is very supportive, but I know he misses the intimacy. I'm not sure what to do. "Just do it"? At least: You're not alone!!! I had NO sex the first year. Tine, Denmark Oh Gosh! It does make me feel better to know at least someone out there has felt the same way... Did it get better? How? |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
my daughter is 17 mths and I still have no sex drive, I mentioned it to my OB and he said he'd be surprised if I did have a sex drive with two small children and the pain issues I have, so I'd guess it's normal. I definitely had more sex drive at the same point after number 1, but I guess 2nd kids are different ball games! Stick with the mirena, I spotted for 2-3 mths and no problems since. Anne |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
determined wrote:
I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I've got you beat. We've done the deed probably 3x in the past 17 months. ;( I have absolutely no sex drive at all, and no desire to really change it... -- Anita -- |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
"Irrational Number" wrote in message ink.net... determined wrote: I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I've got you beat. We've done the deed probably 3x in the past 17 months. ;( I have absolutely no sex drive at all, and no desire to really change it... -- Anita -- Oh, I have to laugh! I mean, all this time I really thought there was something terribly wrong with me, and no one can relate to me that I've talked to. Poor husbands! Is there a pill we can take or something? I will say that my husband has been a real saint through all of this, and is just happy on those moments where we get to cuddle for awhile or hold hands quietly on the couch. Those have become our "intimate moments". My only real drive to "change it" comes from guilt more than anything. |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
determined skrev:
"Irrational Number" wrote in message ink.net... determined wrote: I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I've got you beat. We've done the deed probably 3x in the past 17 months. ;( I have absolutely no sex drive at all, and no desire to really change it... -- Anita -- Oh, I have to laugh! I mean, all this time I really thought there was something terribly wrong with me, and no one can relate to me that I've talked to. Poor husbands! Is there a pill we can take or something? I will say that my husband has been a real saint through all of this, and is just happy on those moments where we get to cuddle for awhile or hold hands quietly on the couch. Those have become our "intimate moments". My only real drive to "change it" comes from guilt more than anything. I think it's our body's way to 'protect' us against a new pregnancy before we are ready for it. On top of motherhood I had the fact that we had been TTC for 2,5 years. Doing it on schedule and not for fun can ruin any libido you might have. It was a relief beyond imagination to have #2 by means of insemination. Tine Denmark |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
"determined" wrote in message . .. I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I feel really horrible, but at first I was so exhausted I couldn't care less, and now, I've been bleeding and cramping since August when I got my mirena put in. My doc says it can take up to 6 months for that to stop, or I can just have it taken out and go with another form of bc. I really like not having to think about bc, and I've made it this far, hoping things will get better soon. Something else doesn't seem to be quite right either - I just don't want it. Like there is zero "urge". I'm beginning to feel defective. What is wrong with me? I feel like a horrible wife. My husband is very supportive, but I know he misses the intimacy. I'm not sure what to do. "Just do it"? Well, that's 2 times more than me in 12 months. Same here, almost 0 sex drive. I do think my drive is begining to return, but with no3 still feeding 2-4 times a night, my first thought when going to bed is sleep. I think it helps to think about sex, but again, with 3 kids to organize, it falls down the priority list. My head is full of thoughts of what needs done next to organise stuff (do kids have enough school stuff for the week, is the swimming stuff clean, is the brownie uniform clean, do I have stuff for packed lunches, is the ballet kit clean). I guess, it's down the bottom of the list of "things I should get around to sometime", next to paint the bathroom, paint the kitchen, get something for the floor in the kitchen, clean the carpet in the playroom, put the curtains up in the bedroom, get a new bedroom carpet ... bla bla bla bla ........ |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
On 2006-11-14 14:52:15 +0800, Irrational Number said:
determined wrote: I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I've got you beat. We've done the deed probably 3x in the past 17 months. ;( I have absolutely no sex drive at all, and no desire to really change it... -- Anita -- Same here :/ Jo -- Woman, Wife, Mother, Midwife |
OT sort of - resuming relations after baby
"determined" wrote in message . .. I know this is going to sound just awful, but my daughter is 11 months old now, and my husband and I have only had sex about 6 times since she was born... I feel really horrible, but at first I was so exhausted I couldn't care less, and now, I've been bleeding and cramping since August when I got my mirena put in. My doc says it can take up to 6 months for that to stop, or I can just have it taken out and go with another form of bc. I really like not having to think about bc, and I've made it this far, hoping things will get better soon. Something else doesn't seem to be quite right either - I just don't want it. Like there is zero "urge". I'm beginning to feel defective. What is wrong with me? I feel like a horrible wife. My husband is very supportive, but I know he misses the intimacy. I'm not sure what to do. "Just do it"? I'm bemused that in a breastfeeding newsgroup, noone seems to be aware that the very hormones that sustains breastfeeding also puts a huge damper on female sexual response. Breastfeeding lowers levels of estradiol (the hormone responsible for keeping the urogenital tract lubricated and supple) and raises the prolactin hormone, which suppresses sexual desire and lowers testosterone - the hormone in both genders that stokes desire. If you are breastfeeding for a year or more, not having sex can become a way of life. Not to mention that after having a baby hanging off of you all day (and night) the last thing you want is a full-grown man doing the same thing. |
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