Parenting & kids - Impossible 12 Year Old

"carl-albuquerque" wrote in message
news:5Lq2d.41696$9Y5.25936@fed1read02...
My daughter recently moved in with me after 7 years of visiting only.
What
an amazing transition. She was a dear all summer, but as soon as school
started, she has become an absolute rude, nasty individual towards me.
Doesn't listen, doesn't pay attention, doesn't ask for help... The list
goes
on.

I know this is a common complaint, I can see it in her friends, but WOW
was
I not ready for this.

Ideas?

Carl

there may be a couple reasons for this. If she just moved in with you, I'm
guessing it's a new neighbourhood, and a new school too? Being accepted
socially is extremely important to kids, girls espescially. She may just be
under alot of stress. Secondly, maybe she has just got over feeling like a
guest in your house, and now that she is comfortable and considers it home,
is off of her best behaviour which is usually reserved for those we visit
temporarily and this may just have coincidentally coincided with the start
of school, and reall has nothing to do with it. This is just what comes to
mind right off the bat. School hasn't been in too long, only a few weeks.
Maybe it's just temporary and will blow over. just tell her to smarten up
and get her act together, One other thought though. Have you discussed house
rules? You can't just expect kids to know them. I'd lay down how things are
"Going to be" around the house. Do it in a nice way but tell her, you are
going to listen to me, do chores, keep curfews, etc etc. A child who lives
in a house without rules will feel they llive in a house where no one cares
about them. I'll admit you are in a tough position, you are going from the
parent she holidayed with, and where the stays were likely short enough that
a list of rules and exectations didn't need to be created and maintained, to
being the prime caregiver where those things are of utmost imortance. A
confused child may it as you having changed, rather than the situation
having changed. Whereas mom had to be the tough one, the diciplinarian, and
you got to be the free and easy fun parent it's now reversed. I'm sure
you'll work it though, simply because you have to. Also it's been done
succesfully before in this age of divorced single parents. There are likely
some here to help with ideas as well.
Anyway, sorry for writing you a novel here. Lol but it's raining here and
nothing on TV.

zigz