Teenager acts like a little baby
 

I'm asking this here because I'm very concerned about my 16 year old
male cousin.

Over the past few years, he's gotten in a lot of trouble at school. It
seems he started acting up when my uncle married his mom. He tries to
act like a "hot shot" and tries to be the center of attention as well
as a know it all. He was the center of his mom's world until she got
married, had another kid, and they moved in with my uncle's parents.
He's gotten kicked out of school about three times and has had to go to
court. No one in the family trusts him anymore as everything that comes
out of his mouth is a lie. He picks on his two year old brother and has
even pushed him on the floor causing him to cry. His mom has decided to
send him to some sort of boot camp program that is ran by the U.S.
Marines. If he successfully completes the program then he gets his GED
and help getting a job. He also has the option to join the Marines if
his mom signs a release form as he is a minor. If he fails the program,
he'll probably be sent to a juvenile detention center until he's 18.

It's been my opinion all along that he has some sort of psychological
problem that boot camp will not fix. I was recently made aware by our
grandmother who lives with them, that he acts like a baby sometimes. He
will suck on his little brother's bottles, watch children's shows such
as Blue's Clues while sitting on the child couch which is designed for
a toddler. He plays with his brother's toys and will sort of "snuggle"
up to his mother. He's like all over her and wants her to cuddle and
coddle him. I've never seen any of this but it is obvious that he's too
attached to his mom.
He's not violent and doesn't get very angry, he's intelligent but also
does stupid things. He doesn't use drugs as proven by a court ordered
drug test after he was caught with marijuana. He did steal his mom's
gun and no one knows what he was going to do with it. He ran away from
home once or twice but since they live in the middle of nowhere all he
did was hang out in the woods behind their house for a day or two. When
he goes out in public, he dresses like a "bad boy" as if he's really
trying to impress someone. He's very good looking and I bet most girls
would fall over him while dressed like that. He's always fixing his
hair even when he's at home or he's always primping as our grandmother
says. He's charming and can con anyone into anything. He comes off as
an immature teenager or kid rather than adult. Most people view him as
a 13 year old which is the age when he started acting up.

Something is obviously wrong. His mom is open to suggestions and isn't
afraid to hear other's opinions about her son. She says he's seen a
counselor (I think it was a school counselor) which didn't do any good.
Because of that, she sees no point in taking him to a psychiatrist. I
think he needs some professional counseling as well as perhaps some
medication like Prozac or Zoloft. I think if he doesn't get this help
soon then he's really gonna get screwed up.

What do you all suggest? What is your opinions on this matter? This
behavior of acting like a baby is definitely not normal for a teenage
boy. Something is definitely wrong, but what? Ideas, anyone?

In article .com,
says...


Something is obviously wrong. His mom is open to suggestions and isn't
afraid to hear other's opinions about her son. She says he's seen a
counselor (I think it was a school counselor) which didn't do any good.
Because of that, she sees no point in taking him to a psychiatrist. I
think he needs some professional counseling as well as perhaps some
medication like Prozac or Zoloft. I think if he doesn't get this help
soon then he's really gonna get screwed up.

What do you all suggest? What is your opinions on this matter? This
behavior of acting like a baby is definitely not normal for a teenage
boy. Something is definitely wrong, but what? Ideas, anyone?


It occurs to me he's acting this way because he may not feel he has a place in
his own home since his mother's remarriage. Or not. But any counselling
should be *family* counselling - it seems there's an effort to "fix him", and
the problem may be at least partly in the setting.

I recommend his mother seek *family* counselling.

Banty

In article .com,
says...

I'm asking this here because I'm very concerned about my 16 year old
male cousin.

Over the past few years, he's gotten in a lot of trouble at school. It
seems he started acting up when my uncle married his mom. He tries to
act like a "hot shot" and tries to be the center of attention as well
as a know it all. He was the center of his mom's world until she got
married, had another kid, and they moved in with my uncle's parents.
He's gotten kicked out of school about three times and has had to go to
court. No one in the family trusts him anymore as everything that comes
out of his mouth is a lie. He picks on his two year old brother and has
even pushed him on the floor causing him to cry. His mom has decided to
send him to some sort of boot camp program that is ran by the U.S.
Marines. If he successfully completes the program then he gets his GED
and help getting a job. He also has the option to join the Marines if
his mom signs a release form as he is a minor. If he fails the program,
he'll probably be sent to a juvenile detention center until he's 18.


Something that comes to me while I think about this post.

Here's the outline of it - let's see if I can make this apparent.

Parents divorce - primary parent remarries and has new children.
Adolescent already in family acts up.

What are the solutions reached for by this family?

1. Boot camp
2. Backup option: Juvvy until he's 18

What's in common between these two options?

They get that pesky adolscent, that leftover from the earlier relationship, out
of the household. Just handy, isn't it?

This is a sad case of a throwaway teen.

It's not the kid that needs fixing. It's the family.

Banty

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article .com,
says...

I'm asking this here because I'm very concerned about my 16 year old
male cousin.

Over the past few years, he's gotten in a lot of trouble at school. It
seems he started acting up when my uncle married his mom. He tries to
act like a "hot shot" and tries to be the center of attention as well
as a know it all. He was the center of his mom's world until she got
married, had another kid, and they moved in with my uncle's parents.
He's gotten kicked out of school about three times and has had to go to
court. No one in the family trusts him anymore as everything that comes
out of his mouth is a lie. He picks on his two year old brother and has
even pushed him on the floor causing him to cry. His mom has decided to
send him to some sort of boot camp program that is ran by the U.S.
Marines. If he successfully completes the program then he gets his GED
and help getting a job. He also has the option to join the Marines if
his mom signs a release form as he is a minor. If he fails the program,
he'll probably be sent to a juvenile detention center until he's 18.


Something that comes to me while I think about this post.

Here's the outline of it - let's see if I can make this apparent.

Parents divorce - primary parent remarries and has new children.
Adolescent already in family acts up.

What are the solutions reached for by this family?

1. Boot camp
2. Backup option: Juvvy until he's 18

What's in common between these two options?

They get that pesky adolscent, that leftover from the earlier
relationship, out
of the household. Just handy, isn't it?

This is a sad case of a throwaway teen.

It's not the kid that needs fixing. It's the family.

Sadly, the boot camp may be the best option for the teen. At least he will
be where people care about him.

I agree, the family needs counseling.

Jeff

Banty

wrote:

I was recently made aware by our
grandmother who lives with them, that he acts like a baby sometimes. He
will suck on his little brother's bottles, watch children's shows such
as Blue's Clues while sitting on the child couch which is designed for
a toddler. He plays with his brother's toys and will sort of "snuggle"
up to his mother. He's like all over her and wants her to cuddle and
coddle him.
This
behavior of acting like a baby is definitely not normal for a teenage
boy. Something is definitely wrong, but what? Ideas, anyone?


He's obviously starving for attention. He sees his baby brother getting
attention so he acts like a baby in hopes to get some of the attention his
brother gets. His other behaviors are also ploys for attention, and he'll
try to get it in any way possible, good or bad.
Like another poster said, *family* counseling is needed.
~Peggy

People care about people at boot camp?

That is a new one to me.

I thought the point of boot camp was to make a person feel so miserable
that they behave.

Thanks for all the replies.

I think family couseling is a great idea. If I can, I'll try to mention
that to his mom (my aunt) the next time she starts ranting about his
behavior. Although, if they decide to do that, they'll have to hold off
until next year. I forgot that my uncle (the step-father) got a new job
in another state and had to start immediately. It won't be until the
end of this year until the rest of the family moves to the new state
too. So the step-father is in one state and the mom and two kids are in
another. Interestingly, my cousin's behavior has gotten even worse
since the step-father left for the new job. I would have thought that
his behavior would've improved since he'll get a bit more of his
mother's attention now. I just hope everything turns out ok for them
all.

On 17 May 2005 22:31:11 -0700, wrote:

Thanks for all the replies.

Matty? Is that you?


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

In article .com,
says...

Thanks for all the replies.

I think family couseling is a great idea. If I can, I'll try to mention
that to his mom (my aunt) the next time she starts ranting about his
behavior. Although, if they decide to do that, they'll have to hold off
until next year. I forgot that my uncle (the step-father) got a new job
in another state and had to start immediately. It won't be until the
end of this year until the rest of the family moves to the new state
too. So the step-father is in one state and the mom and two kids are in
another. Interestingly, my cousin's behavior has gotten even worse
since the step-father left for the new job. I would have thought that
his behavior would've improved since he'll get a bit more of his
mother's attention now. I just hope everything turns out ok for them
all.


Do you mean that counselling can't happen between May and the end of this year?
Or at least a good portion of it? You don't take what we're saying seriously at
all. You're already excusifying as to why it won't happen for a long time.

He's 16. Two years from the age of majority. Blowing it off for 9 more months
is blowing off about half that time.

And - when the family moves - what do you think - isn't there a pretty good
chance you will figure they are too busy settling down to start counselling for
a good while?

Sounds like he's on the bottom of the list of what's important in his family.
Now he gets to finish out high school in some other place from where he's
established. Wunnerful. Maybe that has something to do with his behavior now?
Think about it - he has reason to be deeply dissapointed in his whole family -
your uncle going away temporarily won't necessarily be enough of a change from
his POV.

This is just really sad. Has any one tried to get at what is bugging him - even
tried to look at it from his POV??

Banty