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-   -   Incessant, relentless talking and needing constant attention. (http://www.parentingbanter.com/showthread.php?t=25701)

Brien December 20th 04 09:22 AM

Incessant, relentless talking and needing constant attention.
 
My partner two girls, 4 and 2 years old. The 2 year old almost looks
after herself and amuses herself endlessly with whatever can be found
around.

The 4 year old is relentless in her need for attention. She constantly
has to be talking, commentating on everything, interrupting etc. Even
her internal thought process is entirely verbalised.

How can we help her to find pleasure in silence now and again? It's
exhausting just to listen to her!

I can imagine people reading this thinking that such talking should be
encouraged, but I've spent a lot of time with different children (mum
was a child minder), and this is really something else.

Brien

Joelle December 20th 04 02:02 PM

How can we help her to find pleasure in silence now and again? It's
exhausting just to listen to her!


My mom says I used to be like that - she would just tell me she was tired of
listening to me and to go talk in my room. And I would.

I don't remember that so I don't think it was too tramatizing for me not to
have everyone hanging on every word.

Give her a timer...say she can talk you this long and then she has to do
somethign else.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

lm December 20th 04 03:39 PM

On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 08:22:22 +0000, Brien wrote:

My partner two girls, 4 and 2 years old. The 2 year old almost looks
after herself and amuses herself endlessly with whatever can be found
around.

The 4 year old is relentless in her need for attention. She constantly
has to be talking, commentating on everything, interrupting etc. Even
her internal thought process is entirely verbalised.

How can we help her to find pleasure in silence now and again? It's
exhausting just to listen to her!

I can imagine people reading this thinking that such talking should be
encouraged, but I've spent a lot of time with different children (mum
was a child minder), and this is really something else.


Get a timer, and use it! One of my boys was like this, but in smaller
doses. What I did was plan out the next hour or so with him. "Let's
cuddle on the couch for 20 minutes and you can tell me about school
today, then I have to get dinner started. While the potatoes are in
the oven, we can play Uno until the timer goes off.

Be sure that she has 100% of your attention when it's supposed to be
"her" time, and that way you can teach her to respect "your" time or
"reading" time or "quiet" time or whatever as well.

lm

Karen December 20th 04 07:39 PM

Did this personality begin when the little sister came on board? Maybe
the older one feels the need for competition for attention? Have you
treated the little one more special?

I have heard that such talking should be encouraged, too. I'm not sure
I'd discourage it. Perhaps, make sure there's one-on-one time without
the little sister around so the older one is more satisfied.

Maybe things will iron out when the 2 year old is older and she's
listening to the older sister. I bet they'll make great confidants for
each other.

Karen


Lisa December 20th 04 11:47 PM


"Brien" wrote in message
...
My partner two girls, 4 and 2 years old. The 2 year old almost looks
after herself and amuses herself endlessly with whatever can be found
around.

The 4 year old is relentless in her need for attention. She constantly
has to be talking, commentating on everything, interrupting etc. Even
her internal thought process is entirely verbalised.

How can we help her to find pleasure in silence now and again? It's
exhausting just to listen to her!

I can imagine people reading this thinking that such talking should be
encouraged, but I've spent a lot of time with different children (mum
was a child minder), and this is really something else.

Brien



It doesn't go away, my boy is 10. Fortunately he has come to understand the
coffee requirement before he gets going now. Who's idea was it to teach
these kids how to walk and talk anyways?

Lisa


Bebelestrnge0721 December 21st 04 01:14 PM

Subject: Incessant, relentless talking and needing constant attention.
From: Brien
Date: 12/20/2004 3:22 AM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

My partner two girls, 4 and 2 years old. The 2 year old almost looks
after herself and amuses herself endlessly with whatever can be found
around.


This sounds like my oldest daughter, she will be 23 this month and she still
amuses herself nicely :)


The 4 year old is relentless in her need for attention. She constantly
has to be talking, commentating on everything, interrupting etc. Even
her internal thought process is entirely verbalised.


and this would be how my now 17 yr. old was/is and I think always will be. She
even talks in her sleep ! LOL!

How can we help her to find pleasure in silence now and again? It's
exhausting just to listen to her!


This is a very frustrating challenge I promise you.....I know the exhaustion is
real......have you had the "look" yet as you have listened? Kinda mouth open
eyes wide, and your head bobs up and down ?
As others have already said ...I did find that to have her involved in some
other activities would cut back on some of the babble......

Come time for school a whole new assortment of teachings came into play cause
the babble went with her ! LOL! So we had to overcome the issues that brought
to us. Teachers are great !


I can imagine people reading this thinking that such talking should be
encouraged, but I've spent a lot of time with different children (mum
was a child minder), and this is really something else.


My daughter had been suspect for ADHD at 10 years old , ruled out, and now at
17 is being treated for ADHD ? I wonder if this babble trait for some is linked
to this?

I can say after years of constant reminders to wait her turn to talk , and some
games during her earlier years in school that the teachers have used, and then
there was the principal that would play a part in trying to discipline the
behaviour, with detentions etc. She has gained some control .
She doesn't talk with her mouth full anymore ! That was gross :)
Bev
P.S. good luck


Brien









slykitten December 21st 04 06:22 PM

My son babbles constantly. More times than not, We simply tell him to go to
his room if he has to talk... his door must be closed. We've had to set some
really strict rules, especially when riding in the car. Along with that
annoying chatter, my son makes sound effects so if he whines or makes a
gasping noise, I find myself having to pull over. We've asked our therapist
what to do about it. I've f ound myself sometimes telling my son that if he
doesn't be quiet, he will find himself losing a priviledge. Sadly, it
doesn't matter. We find ourselves thankful for school. Unfortunately, even
his special ed teacher has found him to be annoying. My son is constantly
chattering. The only time we ever hear anything BUT his voice is when he's
asleep! I'd be very interested to see if there are any other ways to deal
with this. My son is 8...... Unfortunately, I know exactly the frustration
you're feeling.

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Brien" wrote in message
...
My partner two girls, 4 and 2 years old. The 2 year old almost looks
after herself and amuses herself endlessly with whatever can be found
around.

The 4 year old is relentless in her need for attention. She constantly
has to be talking, commentating on everything, interrupting etc. Even
her internal thought process is entirely verbalised.

How can we help her to find pleasure in silence now and again? It's
exhausting just to listen to her!

I can imagine people reading this thinking that such talking should be
encouraged, but I've spent a lot of time with different children (mum
was a child minder), and this is really something else.

Brien




Brien December 21st 04 08:26 PM

slykitten wrote:
My son babbles constantly. More times than not, We simply tell him to go to
his room if he has to talk... his door must be closed. We've had to set some
really strict rules, especially when riding in the car. Along with that
annoying chatter, my son makes sound effects so if he whines or makes a
gasping noise, I find myself having to pull over. We've asked our therapist
what to do about it. I've f ound myself sometimes telling my son that if he
doesn't be quiet, he will find himself losing a priviledge. Sadly, it
doesn't matter. We find ourselves thankful for school. Unfortunately, even
his special ed teacher has found him to be annoying. My son is constantly
chattering. The only time we ever hear anything BUT his voice is when he's
asleep! I'd be very interested to see if there are any other ways to deal
with this. My son is 8...... Unfortunately, I know exactly the frustration
you're feeling.

Thanks for all of the feedback everyone!!

Good to know we're not alone with the problem, and a few good
suggestions in there.

slykitten December 21st 04 11:40 PM

That's a really good idea. but the question becomes, what if he finds he
likes the vibrations? I mean, right now, even my 2 year old says,
"shuuuuup!" because even as just a little one, she seems to get annoyed. My
middle child (my older daughter) finds herself completely overpowered by his
voice and sadly, this afternoon, for (I swear that this is true!) 2 hours,
my son did nothing but babble, chatter and make noises. My middle kiddo put
her hands over her ears and yelled at the top of her lungs, "SHUT UP! YOU
BUG ME!!" and we ended up having to pull over. She was so mad that she was
crying! We'll try the vibrations thing. I hope it works.... Another problem
we're having with him is that he cusses. He never cusses at home but when
he's at school, he'll let out a string that makes many a hardened man blush!
We found this out when his teacher was sending home some progress logs for
each day. The back oftentimes looks like a small book! When I was a kid and
I said something inappropriate (regardless if it was a swear word or not) I
got to suck on a bar of soap. My sig other's mom used to use crushed chile
peppers..... what is considered "politically correct" for disciplining a
cussing kid?

--
"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 21 Dec 2004 10:22:03 -0700, "slykitten"
wrote:

My son babbles constantly. More times than not, We simply tell him to go

to
his room if he has to talk... his door must be closed. We've had to set

some
really strict rules, especially when riding in the car. Along with that
annoying chatter, my son makes sound effects so if he whines or makes a
gasping noise, I find myself having to pull over. We've asked our

therapist
what to do about it. I've f ound myself sometimes telling my son that if

he
doesn't be quiet, he will find himself losing a priviledge. Sadly, it
doesn't matter. We find ourselves thankful for school. Unfortunately,

even
his special ed teacher has found him to be annoying. My son is constantly
chattering. The only time we ever hear anything BUT his voice is when

he's
asleep! I'd be very interested to see if there are any other ways to deal
with this. My son is 8...... Unfortunately, I know exactly the

frustration
you're feeling.


Not to make light of this because I know what listening to this is
like and removing myself from the vicinity was the only solution at
the time until he learned self control. But I keep remembering Kelly
Bundy having to figure out the difference between "out loud" and
"thinking" by putting her hand on her throat to feel the vibrations.
If nothing is "thought", then maybe it's because these kids don't know
they can think without talking?

Just a thought. :-)

'Kate





denanson December 23rd 04 03:53 PM


"'Kate" wrote in message

Oh goodness. Poor kid. I've felt like that too.


This is the same child that spends hours playing games, watching TV and
multi tasking everything known to childhood in such a way that it is bigger,
more, harder and more traumatising to the mother that any other kid. Not to
mention the dozens of therapists, gurus, doctors and mumbo jumbo men
involved in this boys life.

I think that the mother (slykitten) just gets off on jumping in on a thread
with an attention seeking response.
Her son is all things to all threads, but bigger!

Dennis




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