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-   -   15 month screaming (http://www.parentingbanter.com/showthread.php?t=29551)

Neil Rutman April 9th 05 02:56 PM

15 month screaming
 
My 15 month son is generally a very mellow kid. Recently he has begun
screaming/screeching at near the top of his lungs. My wife and I believe he
is frustrated because he is talking/babbling but not easily understood and
looking for attention (hard to believe he needs more than he gets) so we try
to ignore it to the best of our ability. Unfortunately it can not be ignored
for too long because it is REALLY LOUD! We try to divert his attention which
does work temporarily but the screaming starts soon after. Any ideas on how
to tame the screeching?

Neil R



enigma April 9th 05 03:06 PM

"Neil Rutman" wrote in
:

My 15 month son is generally a very mellow kid. Recently he
has begun screaming/screeching at near the top of his lungs.
My wife and I believe he is frustrated because he is
talking/babbling but not easily understood and looking for
attention (hard to believe he needs more than he gets) so we
try to ignore it to the best of our ability. Unfortunately it
can not be ignored for too long because it is REALLY LOUD! We
try to divert his attention which does work temporarily but
the screaming starts soon after. Any ideas on how to tame the
screeching?


teach him sign language. seriously.
request he use indoor voice & reward him when he does. the hard
part is ignoring the screeching, but if you tell him 'indoor
voice' when he starts & refuse to acknowlege him when he's loud,
he will get the hint fairly quickly.
ear plugs help with the ignoring part ;) i'm kidding)
lee

HCN April 10th 05 04:36 AM


"Neil Rutman" wrote in message
...
My 15 month son is generally a very mellow kid. ... Any ideas on how to
tame the screeching?

Neil R


Sign language is a very good thing... it also helps later on in noisy
situations.

Also, he may also have some tooth coming in that is painful. You may want
to try cold things... like a wet wash cloth left in the freezer for a while.

And this: http://signwithme.com/video_display.asp?ID=180



Catherine Woodgold April 10th 05 02:58 PM


enigma ) writes:
teach him sign language. seriously.


Good idea!

ear plugs help with the ignoring part ;) i'm kidding)
lee


Ear plugs are also a good idea! I'm not kidding!!
--
Cathy
A *much* better world is possible.

Catherine Woodgold April 10th 05 03:26 PM


"Neil Rutman" ) writes:
My 15 month son is generally a very mellow kid. Recently he has begun
screaming/screeching at near the top of his lungs. My wife and I believe he
is frustrated because he is talking/babbling but not easily understood and
looking for attention (hard to believe he needs more than he gets) so we try
to ignore it to the best of our ability. Unfortunately it can not be ignored
for too long because it is REALLY LOUD! We try to divert his attention which
does work temporarily but the screaming starts soon after. Any ideas on how
to tame the screeching?

Neil R


In my opinion, if you want to teach a little kid not to scream
(or whine, or pull all the books off the shelves, etc.),
then the very worst thing you can do is to ignore the
behaviour for a few minutes while it gets more and more
intense and then give in and give the kid attention when
it gets extremely loud. If you do that, the kid will
learn to get louder and louder and to keep it up for
longer and longer periods of being ignored.

If you're going to give in, I suggest giving in immediately:
giving him attention as soon as he begins to scream.
If you begin to ignore him, then it's important to continue
ignoring him until he stops screaming (at least as
far as teaching him not to scream. There could be
other important reasons to pay attention to him
when he screams!!!!) After he
has stopped screaming you can give him attention.

It's not easy!!

Little kids feel a need, or at least an extremely strong
urge, for very large amounts of attention. A little kid
may try very hard to get 100% of your attention 100% of
the time. That's the way they are.

One of the ways to help avoid screaming and similar behaviour,
if it's motivated by wanting attention, is to give
him lots and lots of attention, all the time or almost
all the time. You can think of nice ways he can ask for
attention, and when he does those things (e.g.
pull on your arm, make a little sound etc.) then
drop everything and give him attention immediately.
You don't have to even wait for him to ask --
you can just give him attention all the time or
almost all the time. Note that he may still urgently
want attention for that last bit of time even if
you give him attention almost all the time.
That's just normal for that age. Or on the
other hand, he may feel satisfied and play with
toys by himself for 2 minutes occasionally or
something.

You can give him focussed attention for one
or more periods of time every day, perhaps
on a schedule rather than waiting for him to
ask, and you can also find ways to give him
some attention while you're doing other
things, e.g. saying nursery rhymes while
you do the dishes and carrying him around
in a backpack etc.

You can try to give him the feeling that
he's communicating. When he tries to talk,
you can try to guess what he might be trying
to say. You can reply. You can have the
sort of conversation deaf older relatives
sometimes have: "Will we see you next
Thursday?" "Yes, I think we need some rain."
(Doing your best to look as if you
understand.) Look at what he's looking
at or pointing to, to give you clues;
this can slide into teaching him
sign language. You can strain to try to hear
the syllables he's making. Parents can usually
understand their own kids while it still
sounds like babbling to everyone else, because
they've had practice in listening to it.

You can even treat his screams as speech.
Maybe that would help. When he begins to
scream, guess what he might be trying to
say, and reply, e.g. "yes, the train, would
you like to play with it?" or "isn't that
a nice blue train?" or "sure, here it
is" (handing it to him), or "choo! choo!"
(making it go), etc. Try to
reply just as if he had said something.
I think that might well help. But for it
to work, you also need to do the same sort
of replying whenever he makes any other
sound, too. And it would also help to
come close to him and listen carefully to
him. Even if you don't succeed in understanding
his words, I think he will appreciate that
you look as if you're listening and trying
to understand. And of course, more and
more often you will succeed in understanding.

I would avoid saying to him "what did you say?"
and stuff like that. Instead, I suggest
either imitating what he just said, or
(probably better), replying by saying
something else.
--
Cathy
A *much* better world is possible.


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