Still believes?!
 

I have an almost-7-YO who still believes in the Easter Bunny. I'm
half-inclined to let the truth slip out. her older brother stopped
believing in the EB when he was in preschool and asked about Santa (not
just those early questions, but real questions to which he definitely
wanted real answers) in kindergarten.

It's very inconvenient to have a kid this old still believing (all the
hiding etc) and also, it just seems a bit strange that someone this age
could be this credulous.

What do you think? Would you tell?

Why would you tell - time will take care of it shortly anyway. I dunno
what you mean about it being inconvenient to hide stuff.

Even my older kids (mine are 14, 11 and 7) love the whole schtick of
the fiction and the surprise, so I never let them see any of the treats
or little presents prior to Easter morning. They come down, the baskets
are there and the eggs are hidden all over the house and they LOVE the
whole silly ritual.

Same goes for Christmas. The older two love the whole thing just as
much as their still semi-believing sister, so the only presents that go
under the tree prior to Christmas eve night (after they are in bed) are
those from other relatives such as packages that have come in the mail
from aunts and uncles. Everything from Santa/Mummy/Daddy is hidden
until everyone is in bed, and then DH and I stuff stockings and lug
everything down under the tree. There is a certain magic to waking up
to a big surprise. I figure they'll be grown up soon enough so they
might as well enjoy it while I can still engineer the fun.

As an adult, holidays become work-a-day fast enough when you are the
one having to produce the event - but I do remember how much fun it was
when I wasn't the one pulling the levers behind the curtain.

Mary G.

On 2005-03-26, Nevermind wrote:
I have an almost-7-YO who still believes in the Easter Bunny. I'm
half-inclined to let the truth slip out. her older brother stopped
believing in the EB when he was in preschool and asked about Santa (not
just those early questions, but real questions to which he definitely
wanted real answers) in kindergarten.

It's very inconvenient to have a kid this old still believing (all the
hiding etc) and also, it just seems a bit strange that someone this age
could be this credulous.

What do you think? Would you tell?

Certainly. We never lied to our son about Santa Claus, the Easter
Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. We told him that these were made-up
characters, but that play-acting them was fun. We still enjoy the
customs without the trouble of having to disillusion him.

I've never understood why some people choose to lie to their kids
about popular myths---what is the advantage (tot he child or the
parent) in having a child really believe in Santa Claus or the Easter
Bunny? Yes, it is easy to fool little children, but why??

------------------------------------------------------------
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
(Senior member, IEEE) (Board of Directors, ISCB)
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Affiliations for identification only.

Nevermind wrote:
I have an almost-7-YO who still believes in the Easter Bunny. I'm
half-inclined to let the truth slip out. her older brother stopped
believing in the EB when he was in preschool and asked about Santa (not
just those early questions, but real questions to which he definitely
wanted real answers) in kindergarten.

It's very inconvenient to have a kid this old still believing (all the
hiding etc) and also, it just seems a bit strange that someone this age
could be this credulous.

What do you think? Would you tell?

No. Not until she asks. Six is still very young, and she's a different
person from her brother. Let her believe as long as she wants/needs to.

As for feeling that she's old, my 8 year old just started to seriously
question Santa last Christmas, and her older sister willed herself to
believe for longer than that.

Lesley

Kevin Karplus wrote:

Certainly. We never lied to our son about Santa Claus, the Easter
Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. We told him that these were made-up
characters, but that play-acting them was fun. We still enjoy the
customs without the trouble of having to disillusion him.

I've never understood why some people choose to lie to their kids
about popular myths---what is the advantage (tot he child or the
parent) in having a child really believe in Santa Claus or the Easter
Bunny? Yes, it is easy to fool little children, but why??

Because some - both parents and children - find the whole idea a great
deal of fun. I do understand why some parents feel differently.

What is the disadvantage of having a bright-eyed six y.o. go to sleep
gleefully awaiting a bouncing rabbit? That somehow a parent perceives
their own credibility as so fragile that it all shatters when "The
Truth" leaks out in 3rd grade?!

If one wishes to fire up the whole issue with you're "lying to your
kids" type of hyperbole and boast to never, ever misleading or fooling
their own children have at it. . . . it makes an enjoyable read ;-)

--
Jim

In article ,
Kevin Karplus wrote:


Certainly. We never lied to our son about Santa Claus, the Easter
Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. We told him that these were made-up
characters, but that play-acting them was fun. We still enjoy the
customs without the trouble of having to disillusion him.

I've never understood why some people choose to lie to their kids
about popular myths---what is the advantage (tot he child or the
parent) in having a child really believe in Santa Claus or the Easter
Bunny? Yes, it is easy to fool little children, but why??

Because everyone -- including the kids -- enjoys it.

Going along with make-believe isn't lying, it's play. I know there are
people who report that they were angry when they found out that their
parents were "lying", but, frankly, I haven't met any of them, and I
often wonder what else may have been going on between them and their
parents. None of my three were upset -- and, in fact, enjoyed "playing
along" once they were old enough to no longer believe in magic. I
wasn't upset, nor were any of my 5 siblings.

Believing in magic is a normal stage of childhood development. At some
point, their understanding of the world changes, and they are able to
separate reality from make believe; exactly what age this ability
emerges varies. I could understand being upset if a parent insists that
the child must believe well past the age that this ability emerges, but
I don't know parents who insist on belief at ANY age. Once the kids
start asking, they either dodge the question ("What do YOU think?") or
tell the child the truth.

This year for the first time I didn't put "from Santa" on any of the
gifts, and my kids were actually slightly miffed: they are 22 and 19,
and haven't really believed in Santa Claus for a very long time!
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

On 2005-03-29, dragonlady wrote:
In article ,
Kevin Karplus wrote:
Certainly. We never lied to our son about Santa Claus, the Easter
Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. We told him that these were made-up
characters, but that play-acting them was fun. We still enjoy the
customs without the trouble of having to disillusion him.

I've never understood why some people choose to lie to their kids
about popular myths---what is the advantage (to the child or the
parent) in having a child really believe in Santa Claus or the Easter
Bunny? Yes, it is easy to fool little children, but why??

Because everyone -- including the kids -- enjoys it.

Going along with make-believe isn't lying, it's play. I know there are
people who report that they were angry when they found out that their
parents were "lying", but, frankly, I haven't met any of them, and I
often wonder what else may have been going on between them and their
parents. None of my three were upset -- and, in fact, enjoyed "playing
along" once they were old enough to no longer believe in magic. I
wasn't upset, nor were any of my 5 siblings.

We still play make-believe games, including Santa Claus, the Tooth
fairy, and the Easter Bunny, but we play them with all participants
knowing that they are make-believe. Fantasy games *are* an important
part of growing up, and I certainly wouldn't want to deprive children
of the pleasure of them, but I think that it is important to children
for them to make the distinction between reality and fantasy at an
early age.

Knowing that a particular game is make-believe does not seem to reduce
the enjoyment of the participants, but discovering that one of your
most important beliefs is not true can be traumatic (hence all the
soul-searching some parents do about whether or not they should break
the news to their children and the fear that some stranger will hurt
their children by telling them the truth).

Believing in magic is a normal stage of childhood development. At some
point, their understanding of the world changes, and they are able to
separate reality from make believe; exactly what age this ability
emerges varies.

Here in Santa Cruz, I'm not sure that the ability ever develops in a
lot of people. The amount of magical thinking in alternative medicine
and other cultural practices is astounding.

------------------------------------------------------------
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
(Senior member, IEEE) (Board of Directors, ISCB)
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Affiliations for identification only.

Kevin Karplus wrote:

On 2005-03-29, dragonlady wrote:

Believing in magic is a normal stage of childhood development. At some
point, their understanding of the world changes, and they are able to
separate reality from make believe; exactly what age this ability
emerges varies.

Here in Santa Cruz, I'm not sure that the ability ever develops in a
lot of people. The amount of magical thinking in alternative medicine
and other cultural practices is astounding.

Likely children whose parents presented nothing but the truth
Santa and the bunny forever ruining their ability to discern reality
from presented make believe.

You can try to find out whether your children want
to keep believing or not by hinting and saying
things like "some people believe in the easter
bunny and some don't." From the child's reaction
you can try to guess whether the child is going
to be happier with more real information or with
more make-believe. You can gradually phase in
the idea that it's just make-believe. Maybe you
never need to say it explicitly -- just hint.

You can take other, less important make-believe
games and ask the child whether it's more fun
to pretend it's real. This can help both with
finding out how the child wants to treat these
situations, and with gradually letting the
child know that some things are make-believe.
--
Cathy
A *much* better world is possible.