Confused mother of 2
Hi everyone I am new to this group. I found this group by doing
searches about pro spanking. I am currently a mother of 2 boy age 8 and girl age 5 and I am expecting another in July '06. I am separated from my the childrens father and I am currently living with the father of the new baby. My other 2 kids father is no longer in the picture and my fiance has more or less taken a role as stepfather to them. He has no other children but comes from a larger family than I do. He was raised by only his mother who had her hands full with 3 boys of her own, a daughter and step sons. She did not hesitate in spanking any of them but also did not use it as her only form of punishment. I on the other hand was raised as an only child, very much spoiled, yet I did have respect formy parents and my mother was known to give the occassional swat on the butt or at least threaten to do so. The dilemma I have is this. My 2 kids are very much out of control most of the time. I personally have a great deal of trouble reigning them in and having them mind me. My fiance, whom they both love, has much greater control over them. We have been working with both kids since we all moved in together to try to get them to behave better, be more responsible, more respectful and things seem to go very well when he is around but I am still having a problem getting them to respect me. I give them the occassional smack here and there which seems to work with my 8 year old son but my daughter will just laugh and become more defiant. He says I need to take a stronger hand with them. That when my daughter gets that way to put her across my knee, bare her butt and smack her a few times. That after a few times she'll get the message that mom means business. I have tried this but usually with only 1 smack on the bare and it does seem to drive home the message if for only a short time. Obviously I have used this method and it has worked but then why am I still afraid to use it? I seem to always extinguish every other available method and get completely aggravated before I will resort to this. My question that I guess I have is this: If children have been raised 1 way and it has not worked, do they reach a point when they are too old to try another method? Are my kids still salvageable or will they only hate me and get worse if I change the discipline method completely? And what exactly is considered an appropriate spanking? How is it administered? Bare butt? Implement or hand? Til what age? Any help anyone can give is greatly appreciated. As I said I am completely confused and just plain exhausted from dealing with the 2 of them. Sincerely, raeben31 |
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