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Carmey Bloom October 4th 04 11:19 PM

Potty Problems
 
Hello,
I have a 4 1/2 year old son who is pottied trained but gets lazy and
doesn't want to poop in the toilet. He rather go in his pants and not
say anything about it.

I have tried everything to get him to stop doing this. I have punished
him, by spanking, time out, taking the tv or playing time away for a
couple days, I even try just talking to him.

He doesn't do it to get attention because he gets so much attention.

Does anyone else have any ideas on how i can get my son to stop doing
this?

Thanks,


Claire Petersky October 5th 04 12:41 AM

"Carmey Bloom" wrote in message
...
Hello,
I have a 4 1/2 year old son who is pottied trained but gets lazy and
doesn't want to poop in the toilet. He rather go in his pants and not
say anything about it.


Does anyone else have any ideas on how i can get my son to stop doing
this?


How about if you make him responsible for cleaning up his own messy
underpants? A 4.5 year old should have no problem rinsing out a pair of
poopy underpants in a toilet, then putting them in the washer with other
laundry and putting in the soap and getting the laundry started. You will
need to show him how and help him initially, but after a while, he should be
able to do this himself.

This would not be punishment -- it's just that you're out of the cleaning
dirty underwear department. Be 100% matter-of-fact. This is not about a
power struggle between you, or about pleasing or angering mom. He has a
choice-- what's more of a hassle, cleaning his pants, or using the toilet?
And you won't care which he chooses, because it won't be your business, it
will be his, and it's no skin off of your nose which either he picks.


--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
please substitute yahoo for mousepotato to reply
Home of the meditative cyclist:
http://home.earthlink.net/~cpetersky/Welcome.htm
Personal page: http://www.geocities.com/cpetersky/
See the books I've set free at: http://bookcrossing.com/referral/Cpetersky


Kevin Karplus October 5th 04 01:27 AM

In article , Carmey Bloom wrote:
Hello,
I have a 4 1/2 year old son who is pottied trained but gets lazy and
doesn't want to poop in the toilet. He rather go in his pants and not
say anything about it.

I have tried everything to get him to stop doing this. I have punished
him, by spanking, time out, taking the tv or playing time away for a
couple days, I even try just talking to him.

He doesn't do it to get attention because he gets so much attention.

Does anyone else have any ideas on how i can get my son to stop doing
this?


It may not be about a power struggle or laziness or calls for
attention or preference for going in his pants. Some kids get so
wrapped up in what they are doing that they pay no attention to what
is happening in their bodies. This sort of selective attention can be
a big asset or a big handicap, depending on what attention gets
focussed on.

Several years ago, when our son was still having poop accidents, we
made it a requirement that he had to use the bathroom before he was
allowed computer time at home or at the library. This change reduced
the number of accidents by about a factor of 3. (Somewhat unusually
for boys, he was potty trained for peeing and dry through the night
for a year or two before the poop accidents stopped.)

------------------------------------------------------------
Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus
Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz
Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics
Senior member, IEEE Board of Directors, ISCB (starting Jan 2005)
life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels)
Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed)
Affiliations for identification only.


Penny Gaines October 5th 04 02:14 PM

Carmey Bloom wrote in :

Hello,
I have a 4 1/2 year old son who is pottied trained but gets lazy and
doesn't want to poop in the toilet. He rather go in his pants and not
say anything about it.

[snip]

Is he perhaps a bit constipated? If you get him to sit on the potty
for a fairly long time (10-15 minutes) every day, with a book or
something to make it not-boring, maybe that would help?

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three



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