If it gets any quieter here...
 

I'm gonna fall asleep.....


zzzzz


Stole this from another (ahem) group - made me laugh

(yeah yeah I know its OT but you're all so quiet.....)


The following 15 police comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country.

15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them for a while."

14. "Take your hands off the car or I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that's the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

11. "So you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

10. "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9. "Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket!"

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and step in monkey doo!"

6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

5. "In God we trust. All others, we run through NCIC."

4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

3. "No, Sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good, personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE NUMBER ONE COMMENT IS...

1. "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Now sign here."


Z

If it gets any quieter here...
 

*nudge* *nudge*...

Tossing chilled ice on ya.... Ok that was fun


"Zorro" wrote in message
.. .

I'm gonna fall asleep.....


zzzzz


Stole this from another (ahem) group - made me laugh

(yeah yeah I know its OT but you're all so quiet.....)


The following 15 police comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country.

15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them for a while."

14. "Take your hands off the car or I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that's the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

11. "So you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

10. "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9. "Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket!"

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and step in monkey doo!"

6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

5. "In God we trust. All others, we run through NCIC."

4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

3. "No, Sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good, personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE NUMBER ONE COMMENT IS...

1. "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Now sign here."


Z

If it gets any quieter here...
 

Zorro wrote:
I'm gonna fall asleep.....


zzzzz


Stole this from another (ahem) group - made me laugh

(yeah yeah I know its OT but you're all so quiet.....)


The following 15 police comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country.

15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them for a while."

14. "Take your hands off the car or I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that's the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

11. "So you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

10. "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9. "Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket!"

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and step in monkey doo!"

6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

5. "In God we trust. All others, we run through NCIC."

4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

3. "No, Sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good, personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE NUMBER ONE COMMENT IS...

1. "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Now sign here."


Z


has anyone compiled a list of top 10 things women say to their husbands
when giving birth..
:-P

If it gets any quieter here...
 

"Whizadre" wrote in message
...
Zorro wrote:
I'm gonna fall asleep.....


zzzzz


Stole this from another (ahem) group - made me laugh

(yeah yeah I know its OT but you're all so quiet.....)


The following 15 police comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country.

15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them for a while."

14. "Take your hands off the car or I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that's the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

11. "So you don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

10. "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9. "Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket!"

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and step in monkey doo!"

6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

5. "In God we trust. All others, we run through NCIC."

4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

3. "No, Sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good, personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE NUMBER ONE COMMENT IS...

1. "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Now sign here."


Z


has anyone compiled a list of top 10 things women say to their husbands
when giving birth..
:-P

Hehe Norm and I could compile a list... It's only been 6 months (today,
actually!) and I'm sure he remembers quite clearly!

If it gets any quieter here...
 

xkatx wrote:


has anyone compiled a list of top 10 things women say to their husbands
when giving birth..
:-P

Hehe Norm and I could compile a list... It's only been 6 months (today,
actually!) and I'm sure he remembers quite clearly!

I just couldn't repeat the communications between my ex husband and I
when we had our first! I also still think it was his own fault he got
within my reach LOL!
Bev

If it gets any quieter here...
 

"Bev" wrote in message
ups.com...

xkatx wrote:


has anyone compiled a list of top 10 things women say to their
husbands
when giving birth..
:-P

Hehe Norm and I could compile a list... It's only been 6 months (today,
actually!) and I'm sure he remembers quite clearly!

I just couldn't repeat the communications between my ex husband and I
when we had our first! I also still think it was his own fault he got
within my reach LOL!
Bev

It usually is their fault they get within arm's length, and most of the time
they do deserve it. ;)
Some things, when such foul language is used, are better left to the
imagination of others. :D