Dr. Phil
I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who
has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) |
Dr. Phil
"Vickychick" wrote in message om... I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) Hi, I assume you are talking about single mothers? My thoughts are that single parents can easily fall into trying to do too much and give too much of themselves. There is only so much to go round at any one time and you need to recharge yourself to be of most use to your kid. If you take no time out you come to a point of diminishing returns at some stage and find you just are'nt as useful to/good for your kid as you could be with a recharge. You are the most important thing in your childs universe and its important to keep yourself in tip top condition to fulfill that responsibility. One of the hardest things to come to terms with is the fact that you should not feel guilty for being human and needing some time to get yourself together as well.I have scheduled a recharge for Dec 12th and I am going to a function with some people I used to work with on a large project five or six years ago. Intend to seriously let loose, my daughter is going to stay at my sisters that night (I know my daughter will not be impressed but it won't do her harm, there is another kid to play with, she gets on with them and will be safe and I will feel revitalised (once the hangover subsides)) PS, the guilt thing, note I am justifying myself to myself and others in the last bit. PPS end of thoughts Andrew |
Dr. Phil
Andrew wrote in message ... "Vickychick" wrote in message om... I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) Hi, I assume you are talking about single mothers? My thoughts are that single parents can easily fall into trying to do too much and give too much of themselves. There is only so much to go round at any one time and you need to recharge yourself to be of most use to your kid. If you take no time out you come to a point of diminishing returns at some stage and find you just are'nt as useful to/good for your kid as you could be with a recharge. You are the most important thing in your childs universe and its important to keep yourself in tip top condition to fulfill that responsibility. One of the hardest things to come to terms with is the fact that you should not feel guilty for being human and needing some time to get yourself together as well.I have scheduled a recharge for Dec 12th and I am going to a function with some people I used to work with on a large project five or six years ago. Intend to seriously let loose, my daughter is going to stay at my sisters that night (I know my daughter will not be impressed but it won't do her harm, there is another kid to play with, she gets on with them and will be safe and I will feel revitalised (once the hangover subsides)) PS, the guilt thing, note I am justifying myself to myself and others in the last bit. PPS end of thoughts Andrew I am not sure if the original post was on single parenting but I like to add that ALL parents fall into that trap of being to giving of themselves. Of what I see around me and in my profession, it is not more or less of a single parenting thing. It is a parenting issue. I also will add, that in homes where there are two parents, it seems to me that the man is more likely to take time for himself then the women. That is just what I see, no stats to back it up. It could be the fathers are doing things to keep them strong for the family while moms tend to think the family will cease to exist without them there to control it? T |
Dr. Phil
as well.I have scheduled a recharge for Dec 12th and I am going to a
function with some people I used to work with on a large project five or six years ago. Intend to seriously let loose, Have it large. Screw some bint. get over the hang over and subsequent remorse, eat some carbs and do it all again next week! |
Dr. Phil
"HanK" wrote in message ... as well.I have scheduled a recharge for Dec 12th and I am going to a function with some people I used to work with on a large project five or six years ago. Intend to seriously let loose, Have it large. Screw some bint. get over the hang over and subsequent remorse, eat some carbs and do it all again next week! Yeah and you thought my spending the night on the PC was lame... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. *snicker* Yep, you're quite the role model. ;) Christine |
Dr. Phil
"CME" wrote in message news:cBPyb.230510$jy.97087@clgrps13... 'Kate wrote in message ... On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick) I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer things, fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities of the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income, childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego taking time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this. They take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role is as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that the idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the economic changes in the operation of the family. 'Kate I'm with you on this one Kate. I found that living with someone else created more problems than helped ease them. I found I was doing even more work, whereas that other person could have helped out more. I think when it's just me, I have only myself to count on, and when I was living with someone else, their expectations weren't in line with mine (clean house, laundry done, the basics really). *sigh* I want to be in a relationship where it's based on equality. I find that typically, even though I was working or going to school full-time that *I* was still responsible for the household duties and let me tell you, that didn't fly for very long. lol Christine I think that in general, there is a vast chasm between what men consider 'clean' and what women do ;-) |
Dr. Phil
'Kate wrote in message ... On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick) I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer things, fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities of the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income, childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego taking time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this. They take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role is as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that the idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the economic changes in the operation of the family. 'Kate Noooooooooooooo......its just that women in general live longer, so men need to take the 'time outs' now, you can have them after we're gone ;-) |
Dr. Phil
"Paul Fritz" wrote in message ... "CME" wrote in message news:cBPyb.230510$jy.97087@clgrps13... 'Kate wrote in message ... On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick) I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer things, fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities of the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income, childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego taking time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this. They take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role is as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that the idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the economic changes in the operation of the family. 'Kate I'm with you on this one Kate. I found that living with someone else created more problems than helped ease them. I found I was doing even more work, whereas that other person could have helped out more. I think when it's just me, I have only myself to count on, and when I was living with someone else, their expectations weren't in line with mine (clean house, laundry done, the basics really). *sigh* I want to be in a relationship where it's based on equality. I find that typically, even though I was working or going to school full-time that *I* was still responsible for the household duties and let me tell you, that didn't fly for very long. lol Christine I think that in general, there is a vast chasm between what men consider 'clean' and what women do ;-) LOL yeah you got THAT right. I draw the line at laundry strewn across the house when let's face it, it's not hard to toss it in the laundry basket, or when I find wrappers stuffed under the cushions, I'm like FFS are you 3 years old? And I know it wasn't my kids because geez, they actually know better. LOL Christine |
Dr. Phil
"CME" wrote in message news:pWTyb.91503$oN2.36956@edtnps84... "Paul Fritz" wrote in message ... "CME" wrote in message news:cBPyb.230510$jy.97087@clgrps13... 'Kate wrote in message ... On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick) I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer things, fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities of the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income, childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego taking time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this. They take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role is as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that the idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the economic changes in the operation of the family. 'Kate I'm with you on this one Kate. I found that living with someone else created more problems than helped ease them. I found I was doing even more work, whereas that other person could have helped out more. I think when it's just me, I have only myself to count on, and when I was living with someone else, their expectations weren't in line with mine (clean house, laundry done, the basics really). *sigh* I want to be in a relationship where it's based on equality. I find that typically, even though I was working or going to school full-time that *I* was still responsible for the household duties and let me tell you, that didn't fly for very long. lol Christine I think that in general, there is a vast chasm between what men consider 'clean' and what women do ;-) LOL yeah you got THAT right. I draw the line at laundry strewn across the house when let's face it, it's not hard to toss it in the laundry basket, or when I find wrappers stuffed under the cushions, I'm like FFS are you 3 years old? And I know it wasn't my kids because geez, they actually know better. LOL Christine I forgot to add.....'my daughter being the exception to the rule" LOL |
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