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-   -   help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long) (http://www.parentingbanter.com/showthread.php?t=16991)

July 22nd 03 11:20 AM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 
Cele wrote:
I don't think you can expect much from 'the system'.


What? Oh, Nooooo!

I'm screwed. LOL.

Whatever's gone wrong before is over, it's written, it's
done. You can't affect it. Walk away from it. Work on the now. It's
all you can do. For him and for yourself.

And be well.


What is it with people who can not see that history repeats itself unless
you actively seek to stop the cycles? I've been in therapy so much that it
is just so clear to me that my son saw me be abused as a child so that is
what was role modeled for him and now he is acting that out as he becomes a
man. Also, he is reacting to me as I only know how to live with a man from
a victim's stand point, I have lots of male friends that I keep at a
distance but living with one is a different story. You can't just "let it
go" or "forget about it" or "put it in the past" abuse isn't like that.
History isn't like that. Time isn't like that. If only it were that
simple. But it isn't, it is very convoluted. The rest of your post was
right on, depressing though, as I was really hoping "the system" was going
to save us. damn.



Rolly The Pervert July 22nd 03 01:20 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

wrote in message
. net...
I've been in therapy so much that it slap


is ridiculously funny to read you trying to reason with folks, and blackmail
then into supporting you.

And your right lorain, you are gonna pay.

And watch that reply button.

hahahah

show me your tits looney lorain




Lisa aka Surfer July 22nd 03 02:55 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...
Damn it...............



I have to clean the screen again..............lmao




sorry

hehehe



Lisa aka Surfer July 22nd 03 03:25 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

wrote in message
. net...
Cele wrote:
I don't think you can expect much from 'the system'.


What? Oh, Nooooo!

I'm screwed. LOL.

Whatever's gone wrong before is over, it's written, it's
done. You can't affect it. Walk away from it. Work on the now. It's
all you can do. For him and for yourself.

And be well.


What is it with people who can not see that history repeats itself unless
you actively seek to stop the cycles? I've been in therapy so much that

it
is just so clear to me that my son saw me be abused as a child so that is
what was role modeled for him and now he is acting that out as he becomes

a
man. Also, he is reacting to me as I only know how to live with a man

from
a victim's stand point, I have lots of male friends that I keep at a
distance but living with one is a different story. You can't just "let it
go" or "forget about it" or "put it in the past" abuse isn't like that.
History isn't like that. Time isn't like that. If only it were that
simple. But it isn't, it is very convoluted. The rest of your post was
right on, depressing though, as I was really hoping "the system" was going
to save us. damn.



Lorian,,,,,try re-reading Cele's post. My thought was,,,,if ever there was
a post this girl needs to keep it's this one.

You really really need to move along to doing something proactive to make
things right in your family's life. What other people know, understand,
think means **** all. It's perception. Stop wallowing and start parenting
your kid before he finds himself in more trouble than stealing your car and
quitting school.

No one is going to do it for you.

Lisa


Rolly The Pervert July 22nd 03 03:52 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

"Lisa aka Surfer" wrote in message
...

"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Lisa aka Surfer" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
. net...
Cele wrote:
I don't think you can expect much from 'the system'.

What? Oh, Nooooo!

I'm screwed. LOL.

Whatever's gone wrong before is over, it's written, it's
done. You can't affect it. Walk away from it. Work on the now.

It's
all you can do. For him and for yourself.

And be well.

What is it with people who can not see that history repeats itself

unless
you actively seek to stop the cycles? I've been in therapy so much

that
it
is just so clear to me that my son saw me be abused as a child so

that
is
what was role modeled for him and now he is acting that out as he

becomes
a
man. Also, he is reacting to me as I only know how to live with a

man
from
a victim's stand point, I have lots of male friends that I keep at a
distance but living with one is a different story. You can't just

"let
it
go" or "forget about it" or "put it in the past" abuse isn't like

that.
History isn't like that. Time isn't like that. If only it were

that
simple. But it isn't, it is very convoluted. The rest of your post

was
right on, depressing though, as I was really hoping "the system" was

going
to save us. damn.



Lorian,,,,,try re-reading Cele's post. My thought was,,,,if ever

there
was
a post this girl needs to keep it's this one.

You really really need to move along to doing something proactive to

make
things right in your family's life. What other people know,

understand,
think means **** all. It's perception. Stop wallowing and start

parenting
your kid before he finds himself in more trouble than stealing your

car
and
quitting school.

No one is going to do it for you.


The problem is that the 'therapy' has obviously been an enabling tool

for
her as well.
It is absolute BS that the witnessed 'abuse' is the cause. rather it

is
living in a misandrist household with a nutcase for a mother. The kid

is
trying to escape, through drugs, booze, and whatever.



Lisa


Talk talk talk. My father is of the old school that talk therapy is the

key
to managing mental illness. From my perspective the only way it does any
good is with someone that will simply tell you....."face it, this is how

it
is"

This young lad is 16,,,if anything is to change it better be now,

otherwise
he's going to be in for a some crappy years. Lorian is enabling him now.
Hmmmmm, now here's a thought.....Is failing to parent your child abusive?

Lisa


Yes.

She's creating a male version of herself, except this kid will end up hating
everyone, not just men.

Somehow, she thinks the current abuse she lays on her kid is magic and comes
from no where



CME July 22nd 03 05:58 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
. net...
CME wrote:

Excuse me? I do not put up with their so called bull****, I'm not
going to repeat myself over and over... nor am I going to try and
change what they think or post. I've said my peice about Paul et al.
and their attack on you, and that is all I'm going to do. Just
because I chose to now ignore the onslaught, does not mean I support
them.


Then my words don't apply to you.

I'm sorry Lorian, but you're being foolish by thinking you can.


But you still need to say something about how stupid they sound when

they
call me disgusting names and pick on me when I'm down, it wouldn't be

right
to just let them get by with going unchallenged. So, you did that,

thank
you. What I am objecting to is how others here choose to take their

side
and blame me instead, again, that does not apply to you.



Hahahah

Do this or you can't be my friend.

Like I said, you have no friends here, just people who enable your looney
marooness and people who don't

And listen up ****or, Peter called you looney maroon long before me

****or,
i read your other lies.

You ****ed up last night and you know exactly how, and you're sweating it
right now aren't you.

yes, I'm gonna nail you for it


Oh and is supposed to be scared? Wow, what a bully. I see now where she
gets the idea that you're an abuser.

Christine



Rolly The Pervert July 22nd 03 06:06 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

"CME" wrote in message
...

"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
. net...
CME wrote:

Excuse me? I do not put up with their so called bull****, I'm not
going to repeat myself over and over... nor am I going to try and
change what they think or post. I've said my peice about Paul et

al.
and their attack on you, and that is all I'm going to do. Just
because I chose to now ignore the onslaught, does not mean I support
them.

Then my words don't apply to you.

I'm sorry Lorian, but you're being foolish by thinking you can.

But you still need to say something about how stupid they sound when

they
call me disgusting names and pick on me when I'm down, it wouldn't be

right
to just let them get by with going unchallenged. So, you did that,

thank
you. What I am objecting to is how others here choose to take their

side
and blame me instead, again, that does not apply to you.



Hahahah

Do this or you can't be my friend.

Like I said, you have no friends here, just people who enable your

looney
marooness and people who don't

And listen up ****or, Peter called you looney maroon long before me

****or,
i read your other lies.

You ****ed up last night and you know exactly how, and you're sweating

it
right now aren't you.

yes, I'm gonna nail you for it


Oh and is supposed to be scared? Wow, what a bully. I see now where she
gets the idea that you're an abuser.

Christine



show me your tits



Paul Fritz July 22nd 03 06:35 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

"Lisa aka Surfer" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
. net...
Cele wrote:
I don't think you can expect much from 'the system'.


What? Oh, Nooooo!

I'm screwed. LOL.

Whatever's gone wrong before is over, it's written, it's
done. You can't affect it. Walk away from it. Work on the now. It's
all you can do. For him and for yourself.

And be well.


What is it with people who can not see that history repeats itself

unless
you actively seek to stop the cycles? I've been in therapy so much that

it
is just so clear to me that my son saw me be abused as a child so that

is
what was role modeled for him and now he is acting that out as he

becomes
a
man. Also, he is reacting to me as I only know how to live with a man

from
a victim's stand point, I have lots of male friends that I keep at a
distance but living with one is a different story. You can't just "let

it
go" or "forget about it" or "put it in the past" abuse isn't like that.
History isn't like that. Time isn't like that. If only it were that
simple. But it isn't, it is very convoluted. The rest of your post was
right on, depressing though, as I was really hoping "the system" was

going
to save us. damn.



Lorian,,,,,try re-reading Cele's post. My thought was,,,,if ever there

was
a post this girl needs to keep it's this one.

You really really need to move along to doing something proactive to make
things right in your family's life. What other people know, understand,
think means **** all. It's perception. Stop wallowing and start

parenting
your kid before he finds himself in more trouble than stealing your car

and
quitting school.

No one is going to do it for you.


The problem is that the 'therapy' has obviously been an enabling tool for
her as well.
It is absolute BS that the witnessed 'abuse' is the cause. rather it is
living in a misandrist household with a nutcase for a mother. The kid is
trying to escape, through drugs, booze, and whatever.



Lisa




Lisa aka Surfer July 22nd 03 06:48 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
...

"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
. net...
CME wrote:

Excuse me? I do not put up with their so called bull****, I'm not
going to repeat myself over and over... nor am I going to try and
change what they think or post. I've said my peice about Paul et

al.
and their attack on you, and that is all I'm going to do. Just
because I chose to now ignore the onslaught, does not mean I

support
them.

Then my words don't apply to you.

I'm sorry Lorian, but you're being foolish by thinking you can.

But you still need to say something about how stupid they sound when

they
call me disgusting names and pick on me when I'm down, it wouldn't

be
right
to just let them get by with going unchallenged. So, you did that,

thank
you. What I am objecting to is how others here choose to take their

side
and blame me instead, again, that does not apply to you.



Hahahah

Do this or you can't be my friend.

Like I said, you have no friends here, just people who enable your

looney
marooness and people who don't

And listen up ****or, Peter called you looney maroon long before me

****or,
i read your other lies.

You ****ed up last night and you know exactly how, and you're sweating

it
right now aren't you.

yes, I'm gonna nail you for it


Oh and is supposed to be scared? Wow, what a bully. I see now where

she
gets the idea that you're an abuser.

Christine



show me your tits



read the FAQ Tom,,,,pics aren't allowed

silly boy

Surf


CME July 22nd 03 06:54 PM

help me keep my son from perpetuating the cycle of abuse (very long)
 

"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

"CME" wrote in message
...

"Rolly The Pervert" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
. net...
CME wrote:

Excuse me? I do not put up with their so called bull****, I'm not
going to repeat myself over and over... nor am I going to try and
change what they think or post. I've said my peice about Paul et

al.
and their attack on you, and that is all I'm going to do. Just
because I chose to now ignore the onslaught, does not mean I

support
them.

Then my words don't apply to you.

I'm sorry Lorian, but you're being foolish by thinking you can.

But you still need to say something about how stupid they sound when

they
call me disgusting names and pick on me when I'm down, it wouldn't

be
right
to just let them get by with going unchallenged. So, you did that,

thank
you. What I am objecting to is how others here choose to take their

side
and blame me instead, again, that does not apply to you.



Hahahah

Do this or you can't be my friend.

Like I said, you have no friends here, just people who enable your

looney
marooness and people who don't

And listen up ****or, Peter called you looney maroon long before me

****or,
i read your other lies.

You ****ed up last night and you know exactly how, and you're sweating

it
right now aren't you.

yes, I'm gonna nail you for it


Oh and is supposed to be scared? Wow, what a bully. I see now where

she
gets the idea that you're an abuser.

Christine



show me your tits


Ohhh I see... so now I'm a target because I don't agree with you... ohhh who
would have thought?! lmao

Christine




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