Helping child deal with bully
 

My son is 6 and in first grade. He's a bright energetic kid, outgoing
and very friendly. He's doing well in school, but he can be a little
overly sensitive. He's having a problem with a kid in his class who
constantly makes fun of his curly hair. My son is pretty bothered by
this and I'm not sure what to tell him. I've never been fond of going
to the teacher for everything since in my experience, it rarely helps.
Teachers aren't always around during lunch or play time etc. Any
suggestions? It's not a HUGE deal now but I'd like to put an end to it
before it gets to be a bigger problem.

Helping child deal with bully
 

bchamberlin wrote:
My son is 6 and in first grade. He's a bright energetic kid, outgoing
and very friendly. He's doing well in school, but he can be a little
overly sensitive. He's having a problem with a kid in his class who
constantly makes fun of his curly hair. My son is pretty bothered by
this and I'm not sure what to tell him. I've never been fond of going
to the teacher for everything since in my experience, it rarely helps.
Teachers aren't always around during lunch or play time etc. Any
suggestions? It's not a HUGE deal now but I'd like to put an end to it
before it gets to be a bigger problem.

I think going to the teacher is probably the best option - you don't
have to talk in terms of "that horrible child upsetting my little
darling", more "my kid's a bit sensitive about this".

What I'd expect to happen is for the teacher to have a general session
for the kids, saying something along the lines of "be nice to each
other and don't tease". Hopefully that would be enough for the other
child to stop.

While I agree there are some some things it isn't worth bothering the
teacher about, I think this mild teasing/bullying is common at this
age, and a 6yo doesn't have the social skills to deal with it.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Helping child deal with bully
 

bchamberlin wrote:
My son is 6 and in first grade. He's a bright energetic kid, outgoing
and very friendly. He's doing well in school, but he can be a little
overly sensitive. He's having a problem with a kid in his class who
constantly makes fun of his curly hair. My son is pretty bothered by
this and I'm not sure what to tell him. I've never been fond of going
to the teacher for everything since in my experience, it rarely helps.
Teachers aren't always around during lunch or play time etc. Any
suggestions? It's not a HUGE deal now but I'd like to put an end to it
before it gets to be a bigger problem.

My son has been in two elementary schools,and at both schools, bullying
was taken very seriously. It's a new attitude these days in a lot of
schools, due to the violent incidents that have happened in recent years
and bullying is being nipped in the bud.

My son had problems on the bus, and even though it was on the bus, his
kindergarten teacher took things firmly in hand and tracked down the
culprit. The bus driver also moved the offender to within his sight
lines. Problems this year on the bus were dealt with by the driver, with
great concern and warmth. The school is responsible for providing a safe
environment for every child to learn and grow, let them do their job. If
you're not satisfied with their response, make them do their job. But I
would try to give your child some feeling of empowerment by discussing
with him various options for addressing the problem and letting him
choose a course of action.

Karen

Helping child deal with bully
 

In article , Penny Gaines says...

bchamberlin wrote:
My son is 6 and in first grade. He's a bright energetic kid, outgoing
and very friendly. He's doing well in school, but he can be a little
overly sensitive. He's having a problem with a kid in his class who
constantly makes fun of his curly hair. My son is pretty bothered by
this and I'm not sure what to tell him. I've never been fond of going
to the teacher for everything since in my experience, it rarely helps.
Teachers aren't always around during lunch or play time etc. Any
suggestions? It's not a HUGE deal now but I'd like to put an end to it
before it gets to be a bigger problem.

I think going to the teacher is probably the best option - you don't
have to talk in terms of "that horrible child upsetting my little
darling", more "my kid's a bit sensitive about this".

What I'd expect to happen is for the teacher to have a general session
for the kids, saying something along the lines of "be nice to each
other and don't tease". Hopefully that would be enough for the other
child to stop.

While I agree there are some some things it isn't worth bothering the
teacher about, I think this mild teasing/bullying is common at this
age, and a 6yo doesn't have the social skills to deal with it.



Right. At this age a parent working with a teacher on this is absolutely
appropriate. The whole sensitivity that older kids have about parents butting
in doesn't come up until they're more of later elementary age (certainly by
junior high).

At any time, if there is actual abuse, it's appropriate for the parent to bring
it up with the teacher and school if necessary. Schools are *much* more aware
of the damages of bullying and much more receptive to taking necessary actions
than in the past. Public schools now have rather specific policies concerning
bullying.

Banty

Helping child deal with bully
 

Thanks for the advice. We sent an email to the teacher.

Helping child deal with bully
 

Hi --

The teasing you describe doesn't sound like bullying ... yet. But it
does need to be nipped in the bud. At my children's school the children
are taught a "debug" technique. The steps a

Ignore
Walk away
Talk friendly
Talk firmly
Ask an adult for help.

The kids get a lot of training and role-playing in the technique. What
I like is that it's progressive, so kids learn to help themselves before
running to an adult. (Kids are also taught to skip steps when
necessary.)

Their school is also very actively anti-bully, so going to an adult
tends to be pretty effective.

I hope these ideas help,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

The best way is for your son to tell the boy that he is not comfortable with the teasing and he does not like it. Let your son tell the boy he does not like it and tell him to stop.

If it still does not work, you may have to step in if it is affecting your son a lot. You could talk to the boy or get the teacher to help.

For more info and articles, go to www.raisingconfidentkids.com