Help for our friend??!!??
Hi all!
I read this group regularly but haven't posted much. I need to ask a couple questions and hope that someone out there can give my hubby and I some tips to help a friend of his. Long story short (I hope!!) Hubby's friend John is going through a VERY nasty divorce. Neither spouse was willing to go to counseling to change what needed to be changed and John's wife is sure that the only reason their marriage is breaking up is because John drinks too much (I may have to agree). John is a wonderful provider but has always been a part-time father because his wife won't let him say/do anything to the kids. Her attitude is that he couldn't possibly know how to relate to a child. So John and wife work, have a beautiful home that John built most of by himself. They have 4 kids and make bundles of money. Fast forward............ John's wife kicks him out. The wife works for an attorney so John hires his own. Well there are several appearances that John misses because his atty didn't tell him about them. So, John is in contempt of court. John fires that atty and gets another one who is a scrapper. John shows up for court one morning (after a night of drinking) and his STBX says she smells alcohol. John gets an immediate breathalizer (sp??) and blows a .03. The judge says supervised visits with his kids. The REAL problem is that John has, for the past 6 or 7 months, been paying his STBX direct rather than go through the friend of the court. (this is Michigan btw). So, the court case finally gets far enough to where the FOC is now involved and he's THOUSANDS of $$$$ in arrears. Yesterday John finds out that there is a bench warrant for his arrest. If he gets arrested he loses his job. Flat out. John pays his CS every week, paying $2,900 a month. Why can't the FOC tack the arrearage onto what he pays every week? Both my hubby and I don't want to see John go to jail and lose his job. Is there anything that can be done? HELP!!!!! Thanks! Pat |
Help for our friend??!!??
"Pat" wrote in Both my hubby and I don't want to see John go to jail and lose his job. Is there anything that can be done? HELP!!!!! The circumstances of the separation are irrelevant, what is relevant to FOC is the money. If he is in arrears and more than $10,000, then it's an automatic felony that you cannot defend. Not to worry, the DA will make him sign a waiver to pay all arrears in a 5 year period, plus still pay his monthly CS rate. It's a real racket the state has going, but very few people do real prison time! |
Help for our friend??!!??
John's a drunk. He doesn't just drink too much. Anyone who shows up to
court stinking of booze is a drunk. His ex-wife was correct in limiting his parental involvement. Her mistake was getting with him in the first place. I don't care how much money he was bringing in. I agree with supervised visits for drunks and addicts. What's worse: supervised visits with his kids or killing his kids (or someone else's) 'cause he was out drinking?? If he's been paying his ex $2900/mth for 7 months, why is he so much in arrears? That's over $20K in CS. |
Help for our friend??!!??
wrote in message
ups.com... John's a drunk. He doesn't just drink too much. Anyone who shows up to court stinking of booze is a drunk. His ex-wife was correct in limiting his parental involvement. Her mistake was getting with him in the first place. I don't care how much money he was bringing in. While I agree that John is an alcoholic, I don't agree that his STBX was in the wrong for getting with him in the first place. He didn't drink as much 17 years ago. His drinking became a problem in the past couple years. I agree with supervised visits for drunks and addicts. What's worse: supervised visits with his kids or killing his kids (or someone else's) 'cause he was out drinking?? That's assuming that he drinks when he's with his kids, which he does not. I think erring on the side of caution is a good thing and do agree with his supervised visits. If he's been paying his ex $2900/mth for 7 months, why is he so much in arrears? That's over $20K in CS. Because he has not paid it directly to the Friend of the Court. It was paid directly to his STBX. I found out yesterday that he is approx $13,000 in arrears, because he started sending his checks to the FOC, rather than direct to the ex. In Michigan, if you don't pay your cs through the FOC, it can and most likely will be considered a gift, not cs and you are automatically in arrears. P |
Help for our friend??!!??
"Pat" wrote in message ... wrote in message ups.com... John's a drunk. He doesn't just drink too much. Anyone who shows up to court stinking of booze is a drunk. His ex-wife was correct in limiting his parental involvement. Her mistake was getting with him in the first place. I don't care how much money he was bringing in. While I agree that John is an alcoholic, I don't agree that his STBX was in the wrong for getting with him in the first place. He didn't drink as much 17 years ago. His drinking became a problem in the past couple years. I agree with supervised visits for drunks and addicts. What's worse: supervised visits with his kids or killing his kids (or someone else's) 'cause he was out drinking?? That's assuming that he drinks when he's with his kids, which he does not. I think erring on the side of caution is a good thing and do agree with his supervised visits. If he's been paying his ex $2900/mth for 7 months, why is he so much in arrears? That's over $20K in CS. Because he has not paid it directly to the Friend of the Court. It was paid directly to his STBX. I found out yesterday that he is approx $13,000 in arrears, because he started sending his checks to the FOC, rather than direct to the ex. In Michigan, if you don't pay your cs through the FOC, it can and most likely will be considered a gift, not cs and you are automatically in arrears. And the beat goes on. P |
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