upset at nanny -- vent
 

Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny.

I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home
Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual
conversations, the nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!

I almost fell off the sofa when I heard that! Here
I am, giving every new food 4 days to check for
allergies, making everything myself (pureeing and
freezing in little 4-oz. bowls), putting everything
in the order she's supposed to use them, and she just
upsets the whole applecart by giving him something that
contains (1) wheat and (2) dairy and (3) chemicals.
But that doesn't matter. I DID NOT tell her to give
him bread, so she should not give him bread.

She was completely bewildered. She's so simple sometimes.
I was trying to explain allergies (I'm allergic, family
history of allergies, plus a DOCUMENTED -- while she's
been in my employ -- sensitivity to dairy causing eczema
in Pillbug), so DO NOT give him wheat. She's like, uh,
wheat bread is so basic. Besides, what chemicals are
in that anyway? She said she's never ever read
ingredient lists.

But, that's all beside the point! I just can't believe
she snuck wheat to my little boy. So far, thank goodness,
he hasn't shown any sensitivity. But, I told her she is
never to do this again.

She's a great nanny, otherwise. I've never found cause
for dissatisfaction before, but this just got me fuming!
It's all settled now, but I need time to get over it.

-- Anita --
Pillbug's almost 8 months!

upset at nanny -- vent
 

Irrational Number wrote:

Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny.

I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home
Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual
conversations, the nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!

((Anita))
It's very upsetting. I went through it with my mom, although she made
it very clear that as soon as I would leave DS with her, she intended to
feed him anything she damn well pleased. Doesn't make things very
settled or inspire a great deal of trust.

(Since then, I've learned even more about DS's paternal history wrt
allergies, and I'm SO glad I struggled as much as I did. Even if it
makes no difference in the end, at least I did what I could)

Can you print off some stuff for her to read? Purge your house for a
while of stuff he can't have?

Dawn

upset at nanny -- vent
 

Irrational Number wrote:

But, that's all beside the point! I just can't believe
she snuck wheat to my little boy. So far, thank goodness,
he hasn't shown any sensitivity. But, I told her she is
never to do this again.

I don't blame you for being upset! Some people just don't understand about
the food thing. I'm probably one of them but I know enough not to feed
other peoples babies, lol. I'd make a firm rule that she can only feed the
baby the specific food you have laid out for that day and nothing else to
eat or drink - ever. IMO it would be useless to try and educate her on what
he can have because it is to much to know and/or she'll scoff at it anyway.
Easier to say he can have any of this and nothing else. Hoe there is not
repeat incidents.

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

upset at nanny -- vent
 

Dawn Lawson wrote:

Irrational Number wrote:

[...] the nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!

[...] Can you print off some stuff for her to read? Purge your house for
a
while of stuff he can't have?

It's actually okay now. I'm quite sure she wouldn't
do it again, especially as I said that over and over
for the past four days! I couldn't print anything for
her, since she only knows Chinese. ;)

-- Anita --

upset at nanny -- vent
 

Irrational Number wrote:

Dawn Lawson wrote:


Irrational Number wrote:


[...] the nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!

[...] Can you print off some stuff for her to read? Purge your house for
a
while of stuff he can't have?


It's actually okay now. I'm quite sure she wouldn't
do it again, especially as I said that over and over
for the past four days! I couldn't print anything for
her, since she only knows Chinese. ;)

actually, I had a thought after I posted that that might be the
case....and now I am led along the winding path of musing to ask...

What sort of info is available in Cantonese or Mandarin either on-line
or irl on these sorts of topics? Other languages?

Dawn

upset at nanny -- vent
 

Irrational Number wrote:
I couldn't print anything for
her, since she only knows Chinese. ;)

IKWYM. Not-MIL sort of gets that I'm not eating wheat (because Caterpillar is
allergic), but doesn't *really* get it. So rice noodles with wheat (clearly
listed in both Chinese and English) as an ingredient are ok in her mind, because
they're still "mi-fen." Whereas linguine-style rice noodles shouldn't be ok
(and it confuses her when I eat them), because they fall within the category of
"noodle" and not within the category of "mi-fen." I don't have the heart to try
to explain the difference between soy sauce with wheat and soy sauce with no
wheat, but Caterpillar doesn't seem to mind.

Phoebe :)

upset at nanny -- vent
 

Phoebe & Allyson wrote:

Irrational Number wrote:
I couldn't print anything for
her, since she only knows Chinese. ;)

IKWYM. Not-MIL sort of gets that I'm not eating wheat (because Caterpillar is
allergic), but doesn't *really* get it. So rice noodles with wheat (clearly
listed in both Chinese and English) as an ingredient are ok in her mind, because
they're still "mi-fen." Whereas linguine-style rice noodles shouldn't be ok
(and it confuses her when I eat them), because they fall within the category of
"noodle" and not within the category of "mi-fen." I don't have the heart to try
to explain the difference between soy sauce with wheat and soy sauce with no
wheat, but Caterpillar doesn't seem to mind.

The previous generation doesn't understand stuff
like this. FIL asked, what do I use on my bread if
I don't use butter (I never used butter, even before
this dairy avoidance thing). When I responded that
I don't use anything, he basically didn't register
and asked me again.

-- Anita --

upset at nanny -- vent
 

Let it go. If you hadnt told her specifically not to feed him anything
without permission
she meant no harm. Most people consider bread to be a perfectlt harmless
food and
Im sure she was just trying to be nice to the baby.
Its hard being a mom sometimes becuase no matter how hard you try
you can never totally control how others interact with your children.
Just part of life and them getting older and experiencing the world.
*sigh*
Its hard for me too, my 15 month old has yet to go to daycare or a
babysitter
and my other kids never stayed with anyone other than their father till they
were at
least a year old. Im not good with the leaving them with other people, then
having toworry
thing.

"Irrational Number" wrote in message
...
Hello ladies, I'm unlurking to vent about my nanny.

I got the stomach flu Monday night, so I stayed home
Tuesday and Wednesday. So, in one of our casual
conversations, the nanny told me that when she's
taking a snack break, Pillbug mouthes so excitedly
that she GIVES HIM A BIT OF WHEAT BREAD!

I almost fell off the sofa when I heard that! Here
I am, giving every new food 4 days to check for
allergies, making everything myself (pureeing and
freezing in little 4-oz. bowls), putting everything
in the order she's supposed to use them, and she just
upsets the whole applecart by giving him something that
contains (1) wheat and (2) dairy and (3) chemicals.
But that doesn't matter. I DID NOT tell her to give
him bread, so she should not give him bread.

She was completely bewildered. She's so simple sometimes.
I was trying to explain allergies (I'm allergic, family
history of allergies, plus a DOCUMENTED -- while she's
been in my employ -- sensitivity to dairy causing eczema
in Pillbug), so DO NOT give him wheat. She's like, uh,
wheat bread is so basic. Besides, what chemicals are
in that anyway? She said she's never ever read
ingredient lists.

But, that's all beside the point! I just can't believe
she snuck wheat to my little boy. So far, thank goodness,
he hasn't shown any sensitivity. But, I told her she is
never to do this again.

She's a great nanny, otherwise. I've never found cause
for dissatisfaction before, but this just got me fuming!
It's all settled now, but I need time to get over it.

-- Anita --
Pillbug's almost 8 months!

upset at nanny -- vent
 

"Irrational Number" wrote in message
...
Phoebe & Allyson wrote:

Irrational Number wrote:
I couldn't print anything for
her, since she only knows Chinese. ;)

IKWYM. Not-MIL sort of gets that I'm not eating wheat (because
Caterpillar is
allergic), but doesn't *really* get it. So rice noodles with wheat
(clearly
listed in both Chinese and English) as an ingredient are ok in her mind,
because
they're still "mi-fen." Whereas linguine-style rice noodles shouldn't
be ok
(and it confuses her when I eat them), because they fall within the
category of
"noodle" and not within the category of "mi-fen." I don't have the
heart to try
to explain the difference between soy sauce with wheat and soy sauce
with no
wheat, but Caterpillar doesn't seem to mind.

The previous generation doesn't understand stuff
like this. FIL asked, what do I use on my bread if
I don't use butter (I never used butter, even before
this dairy avoidance thing). When I responded that
I don't use anything, he basically didn't register
and asked me again.

my ex MIL couldnt be convinced that there was no need to give
the baby juice or water in the heat of the summer
thats why i try to not get angry at them personally
often they mean to do no harm

upset at nanny -- vent
 

Nina wrote:

Let it go. If you hadnt told her specifically not to feed him anything
without permission
she meant no harm.

Meaning no harm and doing no harm mightn't be the same thing.

"Let it go" seems to overlook "deal with it" which I think has been done.

Dawn