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-   -   UPDATE: playgroup fiasco (http://www.parentingbanter.com/showthread.php?t=37884)

toypup January 25th 06 09:35 PM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 
So we went. The first 20 minutes was completely stress-free, since she was
late. The rest of it was fine, since I pretty much ignored her and vice
versa. The room was less tense and I even struck up some conversations. As
far as she was concerned, I acted like it never happened, with the exception
that I ignored her. I heard someone talking about how she was yelling at me
last week, so at least I know I have one sympathizer. Things are looking
up. Thanks for helping me sort things out. You guys are great.



Anonymama January 25th 06 11:42 PM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 
In article ,
"toypup" wrote:

So we went. The first 20 minutes was completely stress-free, since she was
late. The rest of it was fine, since I pretty much ignored her and vice
versa. The room was less tense and I even struck up some conversations. As
far as she was concerned, I acted like it never happened, with the exception
that I ignored her. I heard someone talking about how she was yelling at me
last week, so at least I know I have one sympathizer. Things are looking
up. Thanks for helping me sort things out. You guys are great.


Glad it went okay. I had a similar problem at a play gym we used to go
to -- one of the nannies _hated_ me and my son. I went for the "drown
her in kindness" approach.
--
Sara
accompanied by TK, due in April

Quoting, for users of Google Groups:
http://groups.google.com/support/bin...4213&topic=250

-L. January 26th 06 06:43 AM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 

toypup wrote:
So we went. The first 20 minutes was completely stress-free, since she was
late. The rest of it was fine, since I pretty much ignored her and vice
versa. The room was less tense and I even struck up some conversations. As
far as she was concerned, I acted like it never happened, with the exception
that I ignored her. I heard someone talking about how she was yelling at me
last week, so at least I know I have one sympathizer. Things are looking
up. Thanks for helping me sort things out. You guys are great.


Good. Maybe she got it out of her system, and that will be the end of
it.
-L.


-L. January 26th 06 06:52 AM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 

Anonymama wrote:
Glad it went okay. I had a similar problem at a play gym we used to go
to -- one of the nannies _hated_ me and my son.


Ok, so what is up with some women in these play groups? We have an
awesome play group (run by the county, free and open to the public) and
everyone is wonderful to us except for this one woman who has two kids,
one older than DS and one younger. She is *the* most unfriendly person
I have ever met. I have tried asking her questions about her kids
(names, how old they are) and she answers me with one or two sylable
answers and then ignores me. She ignores DS when he approaches her or
her kids, which is heartbreaking because he likes to "converse" with
the adults and "share" with them sometimes (hand them toys) and he
loves other kids. She would let him stand there and hold a toy out to
her for minutes if I let it continue. I have steered him away from her
incase she thought he was bothering her, but she really doesn't have
any reason to be so, I dunno...cold to him. When DS tries to play with
her son, she ignores him, and steers her son away from DS. What's up
with that? I am thinking it may be a racial thing, but I just don't
know. Everyone else in the group is awesome - this woman seems to have
2 or 3 Moms she talks to from what I can see, and I haven't really
noticed her ignoring other kids, just DS. It just baffles me. I have
seen her sort of sit to the side with her kids, though.

What would make someone be openly rude to a 2 year old?

-L.


MsLiz January 26th 06 01:54 PM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 

-L. wrote:
Anonymama wrote:
Glad it went okay. I had a similar problem at a play gym we used to go
to -- one of the nannies _hated_ me and my son.


Ok, so what is up with some women in these play groups? We have an
awesome play group (run by the county, free and open to the public) and
everyone is wonderful to us except for this one woman who has two kids,
one older than DS and one younger. She is *the* most unfriendly person
I have ever met. I have tried asking her questions about her kids
(names, how old they are) and she answers me with one or two sylable
answers and then ignores me. She ignores DS when he approaches her or
her kids, which is heartbreaking because he likes to "converse" with
the adults and "share" with them sometimes (hand them toys) and he
loves other kids. She would let him stand there and hold a toy out to
her for minutes if I let it continue. I have steered him away from her
incase she thought he was bothering her, but she really doesn't have
any reason to be so, I dunno...cold to him. When DS tries to play with
her son, she ignores him, and steers her son away from DS. What's up
with that? I am thinking it may be a racial thing, but I just don't
know. Everyone else in the group is awesome - this woman seems to have
2 or 3 Moms she talks to from what I can see, and I haven't really
noticed her ignoring other kids, just DS. It just baffles me. I have
seen her sort of sit to the side with her kids, though.

What would make someone be openly rude to a 2 year old?

-L.


Ignorance?


Banty January 26th 06 02:35 PM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 
In article .com, MsLiz
says...


-L. wrote:
Anonymama wrote:
Glad it went okay. I had a similar problem at a play gym we used to go
to -- one of the nannies _hated_ me and my son.


Ok, so what is up with some women in these play groups? We have an
awesome play group (run by the county, free and open to the public) and
everyone is wonderful to us except for this one woman who has two kids,
one older than DS and one younger. She is *the* most unfriendly person
I have ever met. I have tried asking her questions about her kids
(names, how old they are) and she answers me with one or two sylable
answers and then ignores me. She ignores DS when he approaches her or
her kids, which is heartbreaking because he likes to "converse" with
the adults and "share" with them sometimes (hand them toys) and he
loves other kids. She would let him stand there and hold a toy out to
her for minutes if I let it continue. I have steered him away from her
incase she thought he was bothering her, but she really doesn't have
any reason to be so, I dunno...cold to him. When DS tries to play with
her son, she ignores him, and steers her son away from DS. What's up
with that? I am thinking it may be a racial thing, but I just don't
know. Everyone else in the group is awesome - this woman seems to have
2 or 3 Moms she talks to from what I can see, and I haven't really
noticed her ignoring other kids, just DS. It just baffles me. I have
seen her sort of sit to the side with her kids, though.

What would make someone be openly rude to a 2 year old?

-L.


Ignorance?


Is she talking to an adult while this happens? Or maybe trying to get some
adult conversation and not wanting to be tied up?

Maybe she's an introvert, is a little ovewhelmed by an expectation that she talk
to everybody and their kids, too, and is forming relationships at her pace. Are
the kids she does talk to those of the Moms she does talk to?

There's so much to this that is subjective.

Banty


toypup January 26th 06 07:07 PM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 

"-L." wrote in message
ups.com...
with that? I am thinking it may be a racial thing, but I just don't
know.


I've known some pretty racist people and they do direct it at children, as
well. Hopefully, that's not it, but if it is, you don't want to know her
anyway and thank goodness your DS is too young to understand.

Everyone else in the group is awesome - this woman seems to have
2 or 3 Moms she talks to from what I can see, and I haven't really
noticed her ignoring other kids, just DS. It just baffles me. I have
seen her sort of sit to the side with her kids, though.

What would make someone be openly rude to a 2 year old?


I don't know, but it's too bad for her.



-L. January 27th 06 11:02 AM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 

MsLiz wrote:

Ignorance?


Yeah, I dunno. I want to err on the side of caution and think that
maybe she is just painfully shy. I somehow get the feeling that's not
it, though.
-L.


-L. January 27th 06 11:02 AM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 

Banty wrote:

Is she talking to an adult while this happens? Or maybe trying to get some
adult conversation and not wanting to be tied up?


No. Usually she is sitting with her kids nearby. DS likes older boys
so tries to "hang out" with them. Her son sort of pushes him away or
ignores him which is a red flag to me, too.


Maybe she's an introvert, is a little ovewhelmed by an expectation that she talk
to everybody and their kids, too, and is forming relationships at her pace. Are
the kids she does talk to those of the Moms she does talk to?


I guess I have really only seen her talk to a couple of Moms and their
kids. She has been part of this group longer than I have, so I don't
really know.


There's so much to this that is subjective.


Yes, there is. It's just weird, though.

-L.


-L. January 27th 06 11:05 AM

UPDATE: playgroup fiasco
 

toypup wrote:

I've known some pretty racist people and they do direct it at children, as
well. Hopefully, that's not it, but if it is, you don't want to know her
anyway and thank goodness your DS is too young to understand.


Oh, ITA. It just makes me sad, though.


Everyone else in the group is awesome - this woman seems to have
2 or 3 Moms she talks to from what I can see, and I haven't really
noticed her ignoring other kids, just DS. It just baffles me. I have
seen her sort of sit to the side with her kids, though.

What would make someone be openly rude to a 2 year old?


I don't know, but it's too bad for her.


I wonder if anyone else has noticed ths behavior with her. I have one
close friend who attends, so I may speak to her about it, in
confidence.

-L.



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