"Welches" wrote:


"Rosalie B." wrote in message
.. .
snip

"No mom, that is not OK with me. We will do it as you and I
originally agreed." And then restate the reason that you picked that
option, but without anger or excitement. This will take time.

And I'll get "your brother's going through a difficult time..." mum had ben
using this 10 years when I turned round and requested she said "your brother
IS difficult". Mum laughed and agreed... but she still uses it-and it's 10
years after that!

Or - have your mom ask your brother first.

It looks like the best thing to do is have her go to your brother
first. Then you either agree or disagree with what he wants. Tell
her - you go ahead, but I don't think I will participate in that.

Or else you and your sister get together and fight it out with him
directly, without involving your mom.

Unless you have another sibling who can point out to your mother that
she is being unfair. My sister did that for me - when my mom would
complain to her about something I didn't do that she thought I should
do, my sister would point out that she didn't do that (or did that)
and that mom didn't mind it when she did it (or didn't do it). Or
that it was significantly more difficult for me to do it than it was
for her (my sister) to do it.

My sister's done this. This was one of the reasons I realised that I wasn't
just being mean to my brother, which was what I was always told if I tried
to fight my corner.
When my sister independently stated some of the things I'd felt, then I
realsied the problem wasn't just my fault.
One of the problems is that mum seems to actually misremember things that
happen-in my brother's favour. If we correct her then she gets quite
indignant. Occasionally I've produced proof (like a photo).

It did take time.

I know. I suspect we haven't that much time in the world though.
Debbie


My mother wanted to have a lunch locally with my sister's children and
she couldn't get one of my nieces to commit. And her sister (my other
niece) finally said to my mom, "You can't count on her. We just tell
her when and where we are going to be, and if she comes, she comes."