Hi all

Thanks for your support, I felt really miserable about the whole situation
yesterday.

I've been talking to DH about it all... I still really hate her going to the
childminders, but I guess I can see that there's a couple of advanteages. I
spoke to my boss today about my working hours in regards to my pregnancy.
I'll be 23weeks tomorrow. Because I didn't know I was pregnant when I
started, my 6 month probationary period isn't up until the end of Sept, but,
far away as that seems, it's only 7 weeks away.I'm going to try and stick
this crummy situation until then and then drop back to just doing Friday and
Saturday nights, so that DH will have her. I'll also see him more - at the
moment, I see him for a couple of hours over the weekend, then half an hour
a day between our shifts for three days a week.

Then, in early November, I'll be 36 weeks, and I'll go on maternity leave...
There's a bit of me that's not sure what I'm going to do with the
childminder. By then, she'll be used to going, and today she really wanted
to stay there. One of the few advantages I could see was that when the baby
arrives, she'd still go as it'd do her good to keep her routine (that was
before I decided I hated having a childminder). Also, I thought that if she
stayed there once I cut my nights, DH would still take her, and I'd actually
get a lie in during the last stages of pregnancy - because I don't drive,
I'm spending all morning travelling back and forwards on busses and tiring
myself as they're unreliable and I end up waiting 90 mins in the rain.)

I don't know. All that is ahead of me, and I'm going to have to see if I
settle into it all as well as Jessica has. I love being a mum, but the guit
is crap!

Thanks again x

Lucy x