dragonlady wrote:

I'm with a group that will be printing up buttons for an upcoming
conference with "BMP" -- standing for "Best Motives Possible". We are
encouraged to assume that, whatever we see or hear, the person speaking
has the "best motives possible", and if we detect a racial, sexual,
ageist, or whatever slur, we should assume it was inadvertant or
unintended or the result of a need for education, rather than
symptomatic of a genuine desire to oppress. I'm TRYING to live my life
that way: assume the BEST motives, and only move to recognizing an
individual racist when there can be no other possible explanation.

My husband would just adore it if I could do something like that. He
hates my cynicism. I'm just not sure that your outlook is something I
could adopt based on my personality makeup. That isn't to say I couldn't
work towards it.

OTOH, it feels a tad bit like burying your head in the sand. Sometimes
nastiness is there for a purpose, just crying out to be dealt with. I'm
not talking about the bumper sticker, but about a kid who is making
taunting remarks or something like that. Bullying is just as bad for the
bullier as it is for the bullied. Assuming the best motives will lead you
to the wrong response an awful lot of the time. Better to determine the
actual motives than to assume at all, but barring that, it's better to
assume the likely motive.

Wendy