I must admit to being a little at a loss as to how to really motivate him or get
him past this thing against memorization or rigor. I was a kid that had no
problem with these things, although I had other problems like with
procrastination. The only way I know to deal with rigor is just to do it.

We struggle with similar things. This year I've stopped caring about
how the school needs him to learn things and focus solely on learning
the material. Maybe if he could view these things a little
differently? Sometimes it's a stumbling block to think "I have to
memorize this list of 25 German words" but more interesting to think of
it another way, such as "I need to understand the meaning of each of
these German words." It may seem like semantics to you and me, but at
that age I think kids are struggling to have control and power over
their lives, and school is a big part of their lives.

As for band, I've been a lot more practical and hard-nosed on that.
Henry's no longer in Band as a result. Band is a team activity, and if
you're not willing to pull your weight by practicing it's not fair to
the team so you lose that privilege. Plus band cost us money
(instrument rental) and practice was the payment he needed to make to
earn the instrument rental payments from us. No practice, no play.
This year he's in choir which requires less at-home practice and which
he is enjoying much more, I think in part because that practice
pressure is off.

I disagree with the other poster who I believe was looking at this from
the perspective of parenting much younger children. I do think at this
age kids can delay gratification and work toward more distant goals. I
think in general your plan sounds like a good one. Let us know how it
goes!

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 13