Circe wrote:

What I think I am trying to say is that it is wrong-headed to go into
a discussion about a decision that affects both partners in unequal
ways with the idea that you can MAKE it "fair". You can't.

My views aren't really driven by 'fairness' either. Even if men had an
arsenal of birth control options open to them we are the one's who are
pregnant and that will never change...which I'm secretly kind of glad about
;-)


In a situation like the one you've just described, Sally is
responsible for what Sally chooses to do (or not do) and Bob is
responsible for what Bob chooses to do (or not to). The CONSEQUENCE
of those choices affects them both (although in different ways), but
each person can only be responsible for what he/she is responsible
for.

Yes. I'm just saying that in real life it doesn't seem that woman are given
much respect when making their decisions. I'm not saying forcing a man to
have a V is the right thing, just that his decision to refuse one seems to
be given the utmost respect regardless of the factors behind it and that
woman just need to find some method of birth control that works for them
*yet keeps their husbands happy and marriage stable*. It is just a
disparity and perhaps always will be but that doesn't mean I have to like it
;-)

Marriages in which both parties expect absolute parity on every issue
are doomed to failure. In all marriages, there are times when one
party does "more" than the other.

I think all intact marriages are living proof of that! It also depends on
what sacrifices one is willing to make for the sake of their partner,
marriage, and family.
--
Nikki
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Thing One and Thing Two :-) EDD 4/06