"Carrie" wrote in message
...
There is a lot of negativity flying around about single parents and i
don't really understand it. I am single and PROUD of the fact that take
care of my children alone. I didn't choose to do it alone and i don't
see it any differently then if the other parent had died. I live in a
small old fashioned community that has a lot of conservative elderly
people. These people who were raised strict catholics don't look down on
me for being alone or having children without being married. In fact,
they are proud of me as well. They see that i am stronger then most and
do the work of two. They see the love, care, attention, and affection
that i give double. They see my struggles and pains and my refusal to
give up. It doesn't matter what a troll or flamer has to say. They are
unaware of what we go through. They also don't know the posative that
comes from it. My daughter is only 6 and already she had told me that
she prefers to have one great parent then two lousy ones. Hold your head
up high and be proud.


I'm proud of the job I'm doing as a single parent, but I wouldn't have
chosen single parenting. I made bad decisions when I was younger, and now
my son has to live with choices I made. I was with a man who was unable to
think of anyone but himself, and was abusive when things didn't go his way.
Am I glad I got out? YES! Am I glad I raise my son alone? Given the
choice I had at the time, yes I am. Would I do things differently if I
could. DEFINITELY! There are so many times I wish I weren't a single
parent. It's not an easy job, but for me it was better to be single than
dead. As my son gets older, he discovers more about himself, and I'm
certain he thinks about his father. He's asked questions, and I've answered
them the best way I know how. I still feel it's a little early for him to
make contact again, but my son knows if he wants to contact his dad, all he
has to do is ask. I know how to find his father, and if my son wants to
send him a letter, I'm all for that. My feelings aren't my son's feelings.
I have to look at what is best for my child, whether or not I like it. My
son's dad chose to terminate parental rights, and contact. However, when he
did so, he stated he would "have no contact with J**** until such time as he
(the child) chose to do so." That leaves it up to my son, and when he feels
the need, I will get him the information. So far my son has digested the
information, or is still processing it. The teen years are a rough time. I
would hate to see my son gain his father's outlook on treating women,
however as far as I know that may have changed. My son has a good
foundation and solid family ties from my side of the family. He's seen my
father and my brother in their relationships with women. He knows his
grandpa and grandma have been married a long time, and how much they love
one another. My son does not remember his father and I being together. He
was only a year old when we separated. I had support from my parents, and
friends. So have I raised my son totally alone? No I have not. I would
have done so if I needed to, but I'm so glad I didn't. He's turned into a
wonderful young man, and I'm proud to be his mom. I get compliments from
others about how courteous, caring and helpful he is. So even though I
didn't choose single parenting, I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I used
to say to myself, "the next time I have a kid, I'm going to do it right."
Well, it's been 12 years, and there's not another child, so I guess I'm
doing that right. Just my rambling thoughts, I probably made very little
sense. I also gave a load of information, some of you have heard it before.

Sorry for the ramble.
Betsy