'Kate wrote:
On 17 Aug 2006 16:43:34 -0700, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:
snipped

I can imagine that on birth control, she's worse?

I am not sure ....she was on the depo shot after J was born as well as
on and off so many different meds that it would be hard to pinpoint
that. Seems after 21/2 years of the depo she then went on the pill for
about 3-6 months and then gasp she was on nothing and claimed to not
be sexually activeduh where was my head at? I just wanted to believe
her , could not imagine she would take that chance having one now that
she needs help with.The results to that lapse in brain function will be
born somewhere around Feb.13th.Like I have said to our mobile
therapist.....I know this is not my fault, but I cant stop feeling
responsible. Everybody keeps telling me she has to take responsibility
for herself and when I try and look the other way and breathe a little
of my own life in ..........

I never thought Phil would take his own life but he did and here we are.
We cannot see the unimaginable. We're involved in the day to day
struggle and it can get so intense that there's no way to take a step
back to look at a pattern or the overall picture that might predict what
is about to happen.

Who cares what other people think? Do they know you better than you know
yourself? Who gives them the right to judge you? (hint... she's in the
mirror).

What other people think is indeed their problem....I have gone through
enough now that very little will take me down, and I know if I fall
I'll be getting right back up and back in the game.....

Uhhhh.... that person in the mirror..... just stuck her tongue out
looking behind me hmm..... wonder who she did that to? ;-P

I'm curious... it can't be coincidence, ya know?

It is a good question, it is an interesting concept and possibility.

I think it's (endocrine system) worth looking into a little further if
she has insurance if only to eliminate that as a possibility.

I am going to ask about this , if there are any tests that can be done
we will see , good idea to rule it out once and for all. Would be great
to know if there is other treatment that could make her life better.

And I'm glad she's ok while she's pregnant.

It is good that she is at peace and in control of her emotions during
pregnancy yes, but keeping her pregnant is not an option !

Yeah. Poor kid. If that's the only time she feels normal, no wonder
she's expecting again.

It is not the only time she feels normal.....She is a cycler as well,at
times it is weeks or as much as a month either on or off meds, she
goes through very agreeable times and times where she hibernates , she
could be off and running on a tangent one moment and after a short
break in her room she comes out apologises explains what is really
going on and we go from there. It has taken years for us to get to this
point that is considered controlled! She was not open to any types of
agreement or contracts for a long time.For 5 years we have had this
same mobil therapist she is actually a behavioral specialist now, and
is still working in school towards a psychology degree . She has
basically been working with us since S was 14 yrs. old! S use to be
violent , really violent , that I had to call the police and have her
taken to the hospital by ambulance. I am so relieved that things have
become manageable and I know we never would have gotten this far if not
for the people that do this type of work that are dedicated to helping
our children.


Soooooo......I'll be looking for a job the next couple of weeks, the
knees are better , I can finally walk up and down the steps like a
human.I am still taking 2 Vicoden in a.m along with a Voltaren and the
same at bedtime .I tried to come off the Vicoden and all hell broke
loose , pain came back to being unbearable.Doctor said go back on them
and I see him on the 22nd. All the heart tests I had done came back o.k
they found one in there LOL!

LOL... who knew?
Good that your knees are better. Make sure you have a good, well
cushioned pair of sneakers!

Yea , I need a new pair of choos man, I have these 300.00 inserts that
are sliding around because the choos I have are worn on the soles at an
angle cause I walk funny LOL!

Anyhow...... whats going on out there, how is the kids, the wedding
plans, the job etc. ?
Bev

AAAARRRRGh. :-)
So guess who's cooking for the wedding?

heh heh hee heee !!!!
Two trays of lasagna from the groom who is making it in advance.
Salad from my long-time, must be 15 year neighbor.
Store bought italian bread
a pasta bar with 3 sauces - Parma Rosa, Alfredo, and Marinara (homemade)
Penne pasta
a tray of bite sized chicken (mine to do)
A tray of meatballs (I'm making them this weekend & freezing)
Italian dressing

mmmmmm !!!!! sounds delectible...er tasty even grin

the only thing we don't know is how to keep the penne pasta warm without
it gumming. The whole wheat pasta seems to stick together less.

O.K. here is a secret....only us institutional cooks know......you know
that vegetable non stick spray stuff? brand I am familiar with is
vegaline...any how you spray it into your pan of pasta lightly coating
the pasta and lightly tossing it around a bit no not at Kat! then
just before you serve take some hot water and drizzle it over the pasta
tossing it around a bit no no not at Kat! this is how we keep our
pasta from sticking in the steam table before we serve it.



What the heck. It saved $250.00.

Atta girl!

She almost fits into her bridal gown. One more inch... or less inch.

fingers crossed......

I'm set.

so what are you wearing ? um to the wedding silly LOL!

Still need to get Lisa and myself shoes... this weekend for Lisa 'cause
they have to be dyed.
My friend Brian's dad is hatching butterflies for the butterfly release.

nifty !

Mike has a tux rental

excellent

My brother's coming on the 5th of September.

that is wonderful !

I get to meet one of my 'net buddies from alt.support.grief (DVC)
because he's coming to the wedding. He said he'll renovate my bathroom
for me.

Very nice ! and a new bathroom to boot!

Lisa doesn't have rheumatoid arthritis. Yeah. We find out next wednesday
if she has to have something done for her gallbladder. I don't know if
she still is having a tonsillectomy. I will find that out tomorrow. & I
have to bring her old x-rays and tests back to the hospital for the
rheumatoid doc to look over.... seems she may have a problem with the
nervous system not shutting down after a prior injury/problem and that's
why she has diffuse pain. It ain't her joints. Oh. And she gets allergy
shots because there's a list of more than 20 things she's allergic to
including milk and soy. No more tofu. Damn. (blech anyway).

Damn...what the heck? that poor kid.. I'll be thinking good healthy
strong thoughts for her.

Work? I love it.
good...

I don't get to go as often as I want. I feel guilty
that I miss work for kids medical things.

yea well that got me fired many a time ! They didn't care I felt guilty
about it either !


I feel guilty that I'm
juggling everyone and I'm not able to provide the kind of loving, tender
care that I use to give... not to mention time.

uh huh ...dont beat yerself up now dear this is all part of being a
working single mother ...kinda sucks but it is what it is you'll be
fine.



We eat a lot of chicken
'cause it thaws and cooks fast. Thaw? Did I say thaw? Who thaws?

well thats why if your chicken has bones in it the meat by the bone is
black ....cause ya didn't thaw it first maw ! The rule is indeed
freezer to oven who has time to thaw?

heh. It's hectic. I'm happy, overall. Not thrilled with Lisa's medical
issues but happy overall.

smile
nuts, eh?

'K

Yea nuts ...keep smiling !
Bev