a partial reply
Quote:
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Originally Posted by 0:-
I disagree, by the way with your definition about abuse and spanking,
and the intent of parents.
“I don't feel spankers are abusive, that they are misguided in their
parenting..”
That reads, if you go on, as an excuse for yourself. You don’t want,
apparently, to think of yourself as having abused your children by
spanking them.
If you hit them to cause them pain, which you did if you were a
“spanker,” then you abused them. It’s not complicated, and it does not
allow for excuses. You did it. Admit. Decide not to do it. And move on.
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You are absolutly correct. I don't want to think that I abused my son, I did the only thing I knew how to do at the time....that was to spank.
Maya Angelou Said, "You did then what you knew how to do and when you knew better... you did better!"
There is no sense in beating myself up over what I did, calling myself an abuser would only bring me more pain and guilt than I already feel. Instead I choose to Know better, and Do better. The Ladies at GCM have been immensly helpful to me in stopping the hitting, they are my lifeline right now. There are days when I can barely cope with the stress of it all, perhaps that is why I lash out here, I'm feeling stressed angry vulnerable, and You are an easy target because I know you will return comment with as much venom as I sent it, therefore giving me excuse to be rude and mean again. Not the healthiest way to deal with my emotions...but effective until you come back with something like what you said above and hit the nail on the head, reducing me to a pile of snot and tears...thanks ;-\