In article ,
Scott L wrote:

Over the weekend, at a neighborhood party, I learned that
4 of DD's classmates had been suspended, and maybe expelled
for smoking pot in the boys' room (during the last class
period!). If such a thing happened in your kid's school,
would you expect some kind of notification from the
principal alerting you to what had happened? (This is
7th grade, by the way). DD said it's been the talk of the
school, among her classmates. I guess I'd like to have
heard something from the administration, not from a
parent whose kid happened to mention something.

Scott DD 12 and DS 10


No, I wouldn't expect notification.

Why would I?

What information do you think you should have that would make a
difference to anything you would do with your own child?

I don't expect the school to notify me every time some other student
does something that results in suspension or even expulsion: that is a
private matter between that student, his or her parents or guardians,
and the school, and none of anyone else's business. If my child had
been directly involved in the incident, I might expect something -- but
even then, by the time they are 12, if they are only a witness to
something, I wouldn't expect the school to contact me unless they had
been obviously traumatized. (I WOULD expect the school to cooperate and
share such information as they could without compromising the other
student's rights if I called because my child came home upset.)

I would expect to be told of what the school's policies are regarding
drugs and alcohol, and regarding discipline. If something became an
ongoing problem, I would expect the school to be keeping in touch with
parents. However, I can't imagine any school notifying all the parents
every time an incident like this takes place.

Chances are excellent, this is NOT the first time a 7th grader has been
caught with drugs at this school (unless the school is brand new), and
you are going to hear more and more of this sort of thing as your kids
get older: drugs, sex, tobacco, alcohol -- they all exist all over, and
schools have to deal with them.

In the years my kids were in school, there were VERY few times parents
were notified of something; I can only recall two, and they were for
things FAR more challenging than some kids caught with pot in the
bathroom. One involved a car/pedestrian injury in front of the school
(a student was hurt badly when a driver ran a red light), and the other
involved an honest-to-god police chase right through the high school
campus. In the second case, there was plenty of press about what
happened, so the school sent home a letter confirming the facts,
explaining that no students were involved in ANYTHING, and reiterating
what their policies and procedures were.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care