Daniel daniel_h_wATyyahooDOTccom wrote in message
...
'Kate wrote in message
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On Thu, 11 Mar 2004 19:09:47 -0600, "Daniel" daniel_h_wATyyahooDOTccom

The only reason I've not done this yet is so that I can have some way
to
keep watch over what is going on...I've had her phone suspended at
times
which forces her into typing (into a log). The problem is that the one
being controlled actually has the ultimate controll...they can always
decide
to go against you, no matter how the consiquences are (even someone
being
held at gunpoint has the choice to die)...& if they just dont care (she
doesnt) then how do you handle that one?

Yes, they can decide to go against you and then, you can decide to take
away their privileges. Their actions must have consequences. They don't
get privileges before they earn them. If she wants to visit a friend,
she'll have to do something to earn it. If she wants to watch TV, she
has to keep her room clean. If she wants to get on the 'net for an
hour, she will have to clean up after dinner. If she's parking online
for hours at a time, that has to end. Ration it. All you have to
provide is a roof over her head, food on the table, a way to get to
school, medical care, and season appropriate clothing. Extras are "The
Gap", the computer, TV, the phone, visits to friends. Believe me, she
will care if you take those privileges away.

Been doing that...the reason I say it doesn't work is that there isn't
much
left to take...


Been there with my daughter too. The situation wasn't like yours (the boy)
but she was trying to lie about everything it seemed. She had no phone, no
PC, no music, no nothing fun unless it was with me. She is a little younger
though but I was at that point where there was nothing left to take. It blew
over somehow. I think that the dickhead will mess up and break her heart and
she will become more like the girl you started out with. What I am sure
scares you most is how far it will go before that happens.