Rosalie B. wrote in :

x-no-archive:yes Penny Gaines wrote:

Rosalie B. wrote in :
[snip]
I agree with Banty that manners are not so common now (I think it is
incredibly rude to bring wedding gifts TO a wedding as it results in
all kinds of chaos no matter how well it is handled).

So just as one must put reply cards in wedding invitations because
otherwise (and even so) people will not tell you if they are coming or
not, one must also specify about presents on an invitation. And that
is absolutely against etiquette to do.
[snip]

I don't think it is that there are *no* manners, just that they
are *different* manners.

So just like UK wedding invites don't have lots of different envelopes
(the invitees names are on the invitation itself), most UK weddings
have arrangements for receiving presents. Postage in the UK is
sufficiently expensive that if you don't live near the bride and groom
it would be too expensive to mail it.

Can the postage expense not be figured into the cost of the gift?
When I shop I mostly shop by catalog, and the shipping charge is part
of the cost.

I suppose it could be, but I don't tend to buy presents from catalogues.
I think the last present I took to a wedding was a compost bin (well, it
was on the gift list), combined with a garden ornament made of concrete.
The postage cost would probably have doubled the cost of the gift, *and*
the recipients would have had to make a special trip to the post office
depot to collect them. We didn't live anywhere near the wedding, so we
couldn't have taken it to them seperately.

The problems here are that presents are commonly put on a table, but
the giver may (often does) forget to put a card in them under the
[snip]

Yes, it does come with its own set of problems. OTOH, English weddings
do other things differently to American weddings - eg we don't have
bridal showers, we don't have rehersal dinners, we don't have lots of
groomsmen. From reading US wedding sites, each of those has its own
set of problems.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three