Jeff wrote:

It sounds like he has two problems: 1) He is bored in class. You should talk
to his assistant principal or guidence counselor as well as his teachers.
His teachers should be giving him work that keeps from being bored. Or he
should be going to an advanced class.


We have tried, repeatedly, to have him given more challenging work but
run into two problems. One, teachers just don't want to do it. Our
school really resists anything that looks like ability grouping. There
is no real mechanism, other than grade skipping available. He's
already young for his current grade, and I don't really want to have
him advanced. Plus, I don't think my son is the only one who could
benefit from more challenging work. Second, anytime that more
challenging work is given it is usually of the form "write about x."
My son really does not like to write, so that never works! Frankly,
what incentive do teachers have to tailor their lessons for him? None,
except goodwill.

During the conference his science teacher said, 'E's test scores were
94, 100, 104, and 98, but the other day when we were working on
something I looked over to see E just reading a book." So, to me, as a
parent I'm thinking what's the problem here? He clearly knows the
material and is choosing to make better use of his time! Why should
that bother the teacher? But she sees this as a sign of disrespect.


2) Your son is not able to sit still. He should learn to join the family and
eat with the family sitting down.

He joins us for dinner and is an "active" participant in the
conversation, he'd just rather not sit down! He loves to help cook and
prepare meals.

He should be recreational activities like
reading, listening to music and using the computer sitting down. His
recreational use of computers, TV watching and video games should be limited
to two hours a day (or even less). He should also be outside, playing with
his friends, riding his bike, etc., during daylight hours rather than be in
the house.

He is a little heavy on the video time, I'll admit. We have talked
about limiting that more or using it as a "reward" for good behavior.

But, he was elected to student council, was elected treasurer of the
6th grade chorus, has a lead role in the MS musical, is in chorus, band
and jazz band, is working on his black belt in TaeKwonDo, plays chess
in local and national tournaments, and takes piano lessons. He is
plenty busy. He doesn't really like too many sports, especially team
sports.

None of his teachers have ever suggested ADD as a diagnosis, but maybe
that's because he doesn't really get in trouble and when a teacher asks
him to stay on task he does, at least for a while. He does not enjoy
working in groups--he thinks they slow him down, and he takes a little
pride in being different or "quirky." Some teachers like this, others
don't.

I guess I'm torn between thinking he is just a bright kid who has
trouble controlling himself and thinking there are more serious
underlying problems.

It sounds to me that you need to bring the school and teachers in on this
one. You probably want to set up a behavioral plan with the help of the
school's guidance counseler or AP, his teachers and himself. This plan
should have specific rewards as well as expectations.

Solving problem #1 should help problem #2, but there seperate problems.

Plus, if you live near a major university with a medical school, you might
make an appoint with some educational psychologists or pediatric
pyschologists for some additional ideas.

Jeff





Chris