Thread: Shared Custody?
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Old May 16th 07, 05:34 AM posted to alt.child-support
teachrmama
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Default Shared Custody?


"dmr" wrote in message
oups.com...
On May 15, 2:28 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message

ups.com...





On May 15, 12:38 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message


roups.com...


On May 14, 11:40 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message


roups.com...


On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote:
dmr wrote:
Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that
assume
that mothers can take care better of the children. How many
times
Judges have given full custody to the mother based on
prejudices!
We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for
requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments.


But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is
increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving
any
money
at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money
out
of
his
pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is
saving
on
CS,
right?


Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring
for
the
children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother
may
have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids
full-time.
I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of
wealth
from
men to women wants to admit to that.


- Ron ^*^


He would be expending as much money if instead of having his
girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a
daycare.
As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries.
I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations
to
have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the
shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the
idea
of
someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money.
I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot
see
myself without the children for too long. I refused two
promotions
because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with
the
kids. It has nothing to do with the money.


How do you know that the saving of money was the only thing that
dad
and
girlfriend talked about? Maybe dad had never heard of shared
custody
before, and now here was a chance to spend time with his kids. Did
you
get
this story from a newpaper? Or from another person? How do you
know
that
the motivations attributed to the man are the major reason he asked
for
shared custody? If you don;t even know these people, how on earth
do
you
know that this is true?- Hide quoted text -


- Show quoted text -


Listen, I know these people and I can ensure you money was the
primary
motive for the shared custody.
However, after reading some replies to my initial post I realize
it's
maybe not as bad as I thought after all.
Like John Meyer wrote: "...if somebody THINKS that just by
doing shared custody they will save money, they are in for a world
of
hurt. "


You're not saying that you want him to be "in a world of hurt," are
you?
That would certainly cast some doubt on your motivations for posting
this
story. You say you know these people. Do you have a particular
reason
for
disliking this man?- Hide quoted text -


- Show quoted text -


Please, don't try to guess hidden motivations on people's postings. If
I need a psychologist I will find one myself, capito?


You seem to be guessing at HIS motivations, and stating them as fact.
What's with that?



- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -


Ok If "A" says to "B" do this to avoid that. "B" accepts the idea and
do this to avoid that
Then I write a post saying that "B" did this to avoid that following
the advice of "A"
IS THAT GUESSING???????????????????????


YES!! It IS guessing! Perhaps dad wanted more time with the kid anyway,
but knew NOTHING about shared parenting. Perhaps when girlfriend said "My
ex an I have a shared parenting plan. It saves him a bundle on child
support, and we both get time with the kids," he said "Wow. Shared
parenting. Tell me about it." And she did. And she also said "And you'd
save money, because you wouldn't have to pay for child care. I could watch
the kid." And he said "Wow! Sounds like a win-win situation. I'll try
it." And the judge agreed. You can't say that just because A suggested to
B that he'd save money, that is his sole motivation. Unless he came to you
in person and said "I'm going for shared parenting JUST to save money." Did
he?