sorry to hear about the frustration. it is not uncommon for kids over
2 yrs old to "forget" how to latch on if they skip a few days. point
it out to your daughter that she seems to be so big, that she cannot
latch on like the little babies do, so that they drink gently. talk
about how mommy's nipples are very tender, and how it's important to
be very gentle and to drink properly. make sure to avoid words like
hurt, pain, etc. for this particular discussion.some kids get very
frustrated with their latch in similar situations, they decide to just
quit. your little one seem to persist, which is a great character
trait. hope this helps.

Thanks for the advice I'd heard they can forget how to latch, but she
hasn't missed days which is what puzzles me. I suspect her latch has been
getting sloppy for a while and because it's first thing in the morning, when
I'm not entirely there (if even awake) I haven't noticed until now.
She gets the bit where she needs to open her mouth, but she's very literal,
so she'll just pull off, open her mouth then close it down again before she
latches. I never thought I'd have this problem with an older child. Thinking
back on it, it's really more of a token feed unless she's really in need of
comfort. I just hope I can look back on it happily rather than thinking
'That's right, her last feed was where she ended up throwing a tantrum and I
told her to get off the bed'. Cheers, Amy