Hello Reaben

My name is Jeremy, and I also have a 5yo daughter. She also strong willed
and defient like your daugter and many children her age so I believe that I
can help you. However I am going to reply to your questions by sending you
an e-mail instead of here on the group because any pro-spanking comments on
this group draw flames from the no-spank folks and I am tired of reading
them. I am not sure why they come to this page, it is a spanking newsgroup.
I would suggest to them that they start their own group called
"alt.parenting.nospank" but they wouldn't listen anyway, I really think they
just like to argue and feel superior to those around them. Even your
questions here are sure to draw comments, but just do what I do and ignore
them. One particular idiot even has the audicity to consider himself a
saint, or an angel or something, whatever that emoticon is suppossed to be,
he is by far the worst, don't even take the time to read anything he posts.
I agree with your fiance and will send you a detailed email shortly as to
how you should be handling this situation.

Jeremy


wrote in message
oups.com...
Hi everyone I am new to this group. I found this group by doing
searches about pro spanking. I am currently a mother of 2 boy age 8
and girl age 5 and I am expecting another in July '06. I am separated
from my the childrens father and I am currently living with the father
of the new baby. My other 2 kids father is no longer in the picture
and my fiance has more or less taken a role as stepfather to them. He
has no other children but comes from a larger family than I do. He was
raised by only his mother who had her hands full with 3 boys of her
own, a daughter and step sons. She did not hesitate in spanking any
of them but also did not use it as her only form of punishment. I on
the other hand was raised as an only child, very much spoiled, yet I
did have respect formy parents and my mother was known to give the
occassional swat on the butt or at least threaten to do so. The
dilemma I have is this. My 2 kids are very much out of control most of
the time. I personally have a great deal of trouble reigning them in
and having them mind me. My fiance, whom they both love, has much
greater control over them. We have been working with both kids since
we all moved in together to try to get them to behave better, be more
responsible, more respectful and things seem to go very well when he is
around but I am still having a problem getting them to respect me. I
give them the occassional smack here and there which seems to work with
my 8 year old son but my daughter will just laugh and become more
defiant. He says I need to take a stronger hand with them. That when
my daughter gets that way to put her across my knee, bare her butt and
smack her a few times. That after a few times she'll get the message
that mom means business. I have tried this but usually with only 1
smack on the bare and it does seem to drive home the message if for
only a short time. Obviously I have used this method and it has worked
but then why am I still afraid to use it? I seem to always extinguish
every other available method and get completely aggravated before I
will resort to this. My question that I guess I have is this: If
children have been raised 1 way and it has not worked, do they reach a
point when they are too old to try another method? Are my kids still
salvageable or will they only hate me and get worse if I change the
discipline method completely? And what exactly is considered an
appropriate spanking? How is it administered? Bare butt? Implement
or hand? Til what age? Any help anyone can give is greatly
appreciated. As I said I am completely confused and just plain
exhausted from dealing with the 2 of them.

Sincerely,

raeben31