"John Riggs" wrote in message
ws.com...
Thoughts? I'll tell you the same thing I told the last guy I worked
with
that complained about having to pay support ( and I don't mean the
abusive
support or collection systems ).
"Pay your support and be proud that you can.

Yeah right...............be proud you are being financially raped?

It's hard enough for your
kid,

Then it is the CP's fault

and you'd be ****ed if your ex withheld her support.

Nope

You kid will still
love you, regardless where they are, because you are their dad.

Had your head buried in the sand that long?

Try not to
miss any birthdays or special events and last but not least
"Smile"....those
are the things the kids remember".

You are assuming that the CP even allows you that


Yes, it's damned painful. Yes, it's a pain in the ass, but it isn't
your
kids fault.

Many times it is not even yourkid


What we really need to do is make the system work the same way for
both
genders ( it's getting there, just not fast enough ), and bust the
system of
abuse that is being leveled on ONE gender alone. ( I'm gonna get flamed
for
that ). The system is broke...and it needs a serious fixing.

The 'system is unconstitutional and immoral.


"justanotherdad" wrote in message
m...
The comments about mothers being critical of a Dad attempting to
"parent" their own kids hit home with me.

My motto is I want to be "a Parent, not a Playdate" with my only son.

This stance has caused me much grief and I am now well aware of how
prejuiced the divorce system and many woman (even MY Mom) are in my
attempts to be the best parent I can be. I do believe the academic
studies that say more contact with a Dad does kids good.

My ex grills my son every time after I return him in an attempt to dig
up dirt about my parenting and is very controlling during my very
limited visitation time. She has critizied me and complained in court
about almost everything I do with my son. It is very unjust.

It has made me want to give up --- but I haven't and it's ruining me
financially.

I feel a divorce has two consequences for a father:

1) They give up and are seen as "See they did not care anyway."
Hence, the divorce was justified. Dead-beats and/or no support.
2) They fight and are seen as intruding/harrassing. Eventually after
much financial hardship, if successful, they are able to win
significant time with their kids. Hence, the ex will then say the
divorce made them better fathers -- to which I say, no way --- in most
cases, the manipulating/controlling Mom prevent the father/Dad from
being as involved as he wanted to be in the first place.

And people wonder why dads tend not to be enthused about paying child
support!!!

Thoughts?