"Lisa" wrote in message
.. .

"Daniel" daniel_h_wATyyahooDOTccom wrote in message
...
I'm posting in here because I've not got much (if any) help elsewhere.
Sorry
if this is somewhat long, but allot is going on.

This past September I had to take guardianship of my 14 yr. old sister
(I'm
24 now, 9yrs 2months older) after a police raid (responded to her
domestic
violence call for the boyfriend abusing our mother & found allot of
drugs).
Either I took her or DHS would (having grown up in that one myself, I
didn't
want that to happen to her). We've only met up in 1998, then didn't
really
see each other until end of 2000, & didn't spend allot of time together
until mid 2002, followed by her staying with a friend & myself in summer
2003 (before the 9-2003 raid). She hardly talks to her mom (who chose to
live with her boyfriend rather than try to get her back) & her father
only
shows up around holidays to pay her, say he's sorry for not being
around,
make more promises he has no intention of keeping, then leave until next
time. There is no other family other than 1 of our other 2 sisters that
she
talks to.

Everything was fine at first & we moved into a mobile home I'd bought in
October 2003. In early January, she started seeing a 19.5yr old boy &
soon
classified themselves as "dating". Since then her grades have went down
(A
&
B to few Cs & an F on a recent progress report, due to missing a test
from
skipping school to be with him), she's been going behind my back on
anything
related to him. They're kissing, not sure about sex yet, wouldn't
surprise
me either way though, he even pierced her upper ear, something she knew
I
&
her mom were OK with IF SHE GOT IT DONE PROFESSIONALLY, now possible
talk
of
a tattoo though may not be in a place I'd have non-spying reason to see.
He
used to spend allot of time over here until I caught her laying on top
of
him & made the rule that she keep the bedroom door open, now if I'm gone
he's over, if I'm here she's gone (she claims its because he doesn't
feel
welcome, but I noticed the change when I started enforcing the rule).

I've been logging her MS Instant Messenger chats, now installed a
key-logger, & want to do more. I know from this what has been going on
(but
she's recently turned to phone only, hardly chat). In early February I
had
evidence to show that he's supplied her with drugs (think only marijuana
so
far, which she's already had), cigarettes, he has access to alcohol (his
father allows), & they talked about her giving him a lap dance, then
showering together for valentines day. I took this chat log to the
police
(he's 19, she's 14), but they gave the usual "blow-off" response & said
that
since they didn't come right out & say what was going on (used code
words
&
phrases, which though are obvious, I guess you need non-code for
evidence)
&
since she was pushing it, even though he was agreeing to it & suggesting
it
sometimes, they said SHE had to file the report against him (even though
I'm
her guardian). I couldn't even get a protective order against him. Also
his
parents both know about her age & their relationship, but they don't
care
(I've got chat log to show he controls them, tells them to back off
about
it).

I'm going away this next week (spring break), she'll "be with friend",
though I've got more log to suggest otherwise. She's tried to convince
me
to
let her stay over at his place, claims his mom asked (was more likely
forced
into being willing), & claims that she'll be on the couch (we all know
better).

I'm looking for hardware or software or other surveillance ideas. The
only
way this will work (without causing her to go completely behind my back)
is
if I can push this far enough to put him away, take some severe action
against his parents for allowing things to continue IN THEIR HOME
(remember,
the cops say my chat logs aren't enough to press charges, I have to
catch
them in the act & still may need evidence)...basically it's either
everything or nothing. (talking does not work, he's convinced her that
I'm
just an over protective brother...most adults think otherwise & my
problem
is that all adults she knows other than myself & my girlfriend support
her
&
what he's getting her into...so I've got ALLOT against me in this area).

--

There are 10 types of people in this world...
...those who understand binary & those who dont.



Holy crap. I have to wonder what's with this 19 yr old that he would be
interested in a 14 yr old girl?? Talk about a predator. I see that you
have tried a number of ways to confront this, without mention of the
obvious. Have you had discussions with this guy letting him know that you
do not want him seeing your sister? That it's totally inappropriate?
She's
just a kid? A discussion, that is clearly being held from the perspective
of legal guardian, not "overprotective" brother.

Exactly...(Though seems how when you ask for assistance after trying many
things, many people assume you've done nothing & come running for help
first.)

Additionally, if it's not absolutely necessary for you to go on this trip,
maybe you could rethink how wise it is to go away at this time. I
understand how everyone needs a break, but, right now your sister needs a
parent, which is you for the time being.

I do have to go...so I did think things out & have taken the proper
precautions...for example, calling at random to the parent's phone lines
(you know there are public databases to look up area code & prefix to see
the provider...so I know if its a cell phone or not), plus having my
girlfriend's sister check in on her at random too. She IS being watched...I
fully expect her to try a few things.

I really commend you, by the way for stepping up to the plate like you
have.
Good luck.

Its either me or a shelter which she'd run from & not get any education even
if she was in it. There is ABSOLUTELY NO ROOM for kids her age in the
foster care system here...thats the reason they jumped at the chance to give
her to me. Took them less than 24 hrs to finalize.

Lisa