"LisaBell" wrote in message
...
A few weeks ago, at a parents meeting at DD2's preschool, one of the
staff told a parent a cute anecdote about walking on an errand with
her son. The boy had said it was a long way, and the staff member had
told him not to worry, since the way back would be shorter. She added,
with great amusement, that now whenever they went on their weekly walk
to the woods, this boy would pipe up that it will be shorter on the
way back.

I was quite disturbed by this story. I would never deliberately feed
my child patently false scientific information; too me it is a matter
of integrity and dependability. Is this because I am out of touch
with my inner child ?

I will admit I am far from a fantasy enthusiast (right now DH is in
the other room watching LOTR for the third time, by himself), nor am I
a religious believer, so I am repeatedly uneasy when DD1 asks whether
fairies exist, and what about angels... elves... spirits... heaven?
What am I supposed to tell her?

I tried to dodge it when she asked if there was really a tooth fairy
(she hasn't yet lost a tooth, but is dying to), and asked her what she
thought. She said she thought there was no fairy and it was the
parents who put money in place of the tooth. Then she *insisted* on
knowing if she was right. Put on the spot, I admitted there was no
fairy, nor elves, and I'd never seen an angel. Am I spoiling things
for her?

If she's actually asking then I don't think you should say directly "yes
there is". You can put off the question or ask what she thinks, but actually
lieing straight out is not going to help them trust you when they need to.
But I don't think if you are talking about it generally it is a lie. It's a
story. Do you start each story you read to them with a disclaimer? ("this is
not a true story and any resemblance to actual persons or situations is
purely a coincidence")
But I do think that some things are fun to believe or pretend to believe in
when you're that age. #1 is 4. This Christmas she got so excited over her
stocking. It was lovely to watch her explaining to us about all the
presents. We hadn't taken most of our presents as we were away, and when we
got back she asked if I'd fill her stocking again that night with the
presents we'd left behind. She hadn't seen the presents at that stage, and I
was just about to get them out of the cupboard. So I filled it and she woke
up to another full stocking.
She opened one and then didn't bother about the rest, until I suggested she
opened them. Afterwards I asked her whether it was as fun if she knew mummy
was doing it and she said it wasn't as fun. So I think blatantly not letting
them believe can spoil things.
BUT I don't like the shorter on the way back. I might say "it'll feel
shorter on the way back" if, say, it was downhill or other reason. But to
say it *is* shorter is open to problems. I suspect #1 would see through that
though as she's really logical, so I think the story actually makes her boy
look a bit foolish rather than cute. But that's my opinion. (I might try
suggesting to #1 that it might be shorter on the way back from pre-school
tomorrow just to see what she says. If she agrees though I'll then talk
through with her why it's the same distance!)
Debbie