ParentingBanter.com - View Single Post - Need Advice: Breastfeeding with 3 older (13+) stepson's

**Irene**

wrote:
Thanks for the advice. I COMPLETELY agree with you about everything.
I'm not squeamish about the issue at all, and I know that feeding
your child is what breasts are really for...

But I also know it might be rather difficult to explain that to a 13 yo
boy. I certainly want them to know, understand, realize the intended
purpose for breasts and set a good example but I guess I'm just
afraid because of their age and they're not *my* children.
Unfortunately, society does set a "standard" and "boobs" are a
funny thing that little boys talk about. If they were a bit younger, or
mine, I would have no issue with it. To be honest, I don't really
have any issue with it, I was just wondering how others in the step-mom
role may have dealt with/approached it with their stepchildren.

Then, of course, I've got to really get my husband on the "same
page" with me so that he can enforce the normalcy that is
breastfeeding and not contribute to the phobia.

I just want to say, best wishes for bf'ing your new baby! I don't have
any specific advice for discussing bf with 13 yo boys - most of my
discussions have been with much younger or older people. I have bf
around teenage relatives a few times, and didn't have any issues - they
simply averted their eyes or moved away if they were uncomfortable.
But, they were my cousins' kids, or dh's cousins' kids, so not nearly
the same type of relationship. It was also after I had gotten through
the initial learning curve. You will likely find that at first, you
will need to expose your breast a bit simply to be able to see the baby
latch on (and then you can cover up). Later, once baby and you get
more accustomed to bf, you will probably be able to turn aside and
latch on very discreetly, if you so choose.

I will say it is probably likely that teenage boys will be embarrassed
- but it's a healthy type of thing for them to learn. Since I don't
know your step-sons, I don't know the best way to approach them. Maybe
leave some books about nursing lying around for them to find and read?
I've heard So That's What They're For is a good, non-preachy book (by
Janet Tomaro, iirc) - maybe someone else can say whether they think it
would be good for teenage boys? (I haven't read it, I've just seen it
recommended frequently) I don't know if that is better than trying to
sit them down and talk about it, because that seems like you would be
setting yourself up for thinking it is a big deal, iykwim?

(Ok, I guess I had more ideas than I originally thought I did!)

(And of course, I agree with everything Ericka so eloquently said!)

Irene