"Wendy Marsden" wrote in message
...
rwinnh wrote:
Hello, I am a young man who is involved in a developing relationship
with a single mother of a 1 yr old boy.

Parenting is a little bit like having an obsessive hobby. It takes up ALL
your free time, it doesn't stop and it isn't all that much fun much of the
time.

My little boy is 22 months and I'd say life is a lot of fun most of the
time. Maybe I'm particularly lucky? Yeah sure it doesn't stop but you can
still have loads of fun while you do it.


People do it for a variety of reasons, but the underlying reason is
love. If you aren't willing to love this child and spend 40 hours a week
for the next 17 years doing things with and for this child, find another
girlfriend.

I imagine the guy will be at work for forty hours a week and the rest of the
week will be a combination of time with the girlfriend and her child, and
time for the two of them while baby is in bed or with a baby sitter. You
just have to be organised.

I participate in a group supporting marriage and a reoccurring theme is
the marriage with toddlers/preschoolers falling apart. Typically one of
the partners come in saying, "we have a one year old and a three year old
and life is hard and I'm not having ANY fun with my partner, it's all work
work work. I want to find a partner who I can have fun with." They are
completely missing the point that the work comes from their situation, not
from having a bad partner. When life gets easier (like when the kids can
dress themselves, read to themselves, do toileting without help, etc.) the
marriage typically improves simply because the people have more leisure
time.

Anyway, my point is that a girlfriend who has overwhelming personal time
commitments isn't all that available for doing typical teen-age romance
stuff. Parents of one year olds get maybe two hours a week alone together
without their kid. I can't imagine how she even found time to date you to
start with!

Wendy


DS goes to bed at 7.30pm, we have a great extended family who can babysit if
we want to go out. Even if we stay in we are together. So if I go to bed at
10.30pm that's at least 21 hours a week alone together or for us to get out
or do our own thing.

It's not always as bleak as you are painting it. My relationship has only
strengthened with a toddler in the house. It does take a little extra work
and organisation but it's possible.

Judy