View Single Post
  #8  
Old December 10th 06, 08:50 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Dawn
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 10
Default Teenager is late for school and misses first hour



On Nov 21, 6:59*am, Paula wrote:
Do not excuse his absences or tardies. *


Careful -- in Texas (or at least in our part of Texas) the parents can
be held legally responsible for a child not getting to school... that's
a younger child, though -- so maybe in High School this is a viable
alternative. In Middle School (where we struggle with this issue) we
could be fined or jailed for unexcuses absences.

Tell him that if
he is too tired to get up on time, he must need to go to bed earlier
and make sure he is in his room with lights out even if you have to
take the light bulb to bed with you so he either sleeps or lies there
bored. *


This seems to make so much sense, but in reality it probably won't work
unless the parents are willing to stay up all night long or take every
lightbulb in the house to bed with them. How do you keep a nearly
grown young man in his bed or even require that he be there at a given
time? I haven't found a way -- I've certainly found ways to strongly
encourage it by taking away privileges, but tricks like this just start
a cat and mouse game that is both tiring and counterproductive -- and
worse, take the focus away from the main issue at hand.

You say you have already taken all his privileges, but what are you
defining as privileges? *As a counselor, I hear that all the time. *I
can't make him do his homework is even more common. *I ask what the
child is doing instead of homework and parents look at me like I have
lost my mind. *But it turns out that the kid is riding his bike,
talking to friends on the phone, hanging out at the mall, whatever. So
you can't physically make a child do homework, but you can make sure
he doesn't do anything else until he has done it and suddenly he is
motivated to do it. *


*some kids* Others will just sit around or find ways to amuse
themselves without all the stuff. First you need to understand why the
kid doesn't want to do the homework.

As the parent, you control everything that
matters to your son. *It's actually rare that the school has the power
to make a teenager do what they want. *


And also rare that the parent actually does. And most importantly, the
parent must think about more than the academic success of their child.
Sometimes success in school is not the top priority with some kids.

This is off the OP's original question, but I think some of the "my way
or the highway" advice here works only with a kid who is just refusing.
That's not the case for all kids who are having trouble in school.

-Dawn