Cathy Weeks wrote:
What I objected to, is that it *seemed* like she had
decided he *was* going to have a vasectomy, whether he liked it or
not.

I didn't take that away from the conversation because short of clubbing him
over the head and hauling him in I'm not sure how she'd manage that :-)

To be quite honest, neither is a particularly good situation.

That is the truest statement in this thread.

So, he has to decide which is worse - occasonally getting poked, and
paying probably $1500 over the next 15 years or so to get them, or
getting a free vasectomy. And for him, the jury is pretty much out
still.

Lucky for you guys there does seem to be a few different options open to you
and while they might not be the ideal for either one of you, they are all
acceptable to both of you.

I know an awful lot of women who are squicked by having a
foreign object inserted into their uteruses, and so they dismiss it
out of hand. Why is that any different than a man being squicked by
scalpels near his testicles?

I don't know. I'm probably not thinking it through well enough. It just
seems different to have something in you for years versus a procedure that
is over in a short bit. There are quite a few things that totally squick me
out that I do because I feel they are necessary and are over in a short bit
so I put up with them. All the pregnancy stuff, pap smears, I'll need a
colonoscopy in the next few years etc. All are awful shiver. I think it
would be irresponsible of me to just dismiss them because I was squicked.
It is my duty to my family to do what I can to deliver healthy babies and
live long enough to raise them.

If that's the case - I'm not sure that his getting a V is a good idea.
Fertility depends on him, too, unless of course you are thinking ahead
to his demise. (I'm kidding - please don't take offense!) ;-)

Hee hee. We've never discussed the V. It hasn't been anything I've
interested in, nor he AFAIK. Having said that if he was 100% sure he wanted
no more kids ever and felt strongly that an accidental pregancy would be a
very bad thing, I wouldn't stop him (or try to convince him) to not get it.

I hope you don't mind my asking - but what method *did* you agree on?

Condoms. Not his favorite, nor mine really, but the best of all our choices
and we both agreed on it without any drama. We were always planning a third
pregnancy so the reliability thing wasn't huge. This pregnancy did come
about 6mos earlier then planned but they worked for us for many many years.
I'm not sure how he'll feel after this pregnancy since we get two for the
trouble :-) That is why we'll have to have a more intense discussion. We
seem to be very compatible in the fertility department as it only took one
actual time for us to conceive all three times so effectiveness is certainly
part of the equation. It will really depend on how strongly he feels that
he is done with having children.

--
Nikki
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Thing One and Thing Two :-) EDD 4/06