Kat wrote:
"Sue" wrote in message
...
I personally would rather have a close friend be with me at a birth than
someone I would have to interview and pay. Do you not have any close
friends that could be with you? Do you have any close relatives, a sister
or aunt?

I feel much more comfortable having a trained and experienced doula.
Friends and family may wish the best for me, but don't have the
experience to provide the support I need.


far the few I have had contact with are certified doulas that volunteer. It
sure seems that for those that have had a doula - either a single mother or
couples that have a doula - they've all said it made their experience so
much better. I've even heard a few people say they had a doula for a second
or later pregnancy, and wish they would have had one for all their births.

I'm one of those. I didn't have a doula for my first birth, but did for
the next 3. I sorely regret not having a doula for the first. I think
the experience and recovery would have been much better for me. I'm
sure the experience would have been much better for my husband too.

Doulas seem to offer more than what just a friend or family member can
offer. It seems they can offer different techniques and whatever else. One
mom said her doula had music, massages, hot and cold compresses, some kind
of aromatherapy and offered various positions and whatever else. I know to
date, I've never had that kind of stuff offered to me with any of my births.

Even though I usually tend toward the "don't touch me" type during
labor, I appreciate a doula.

I also figure if I can find someone I'm comfortable with, it's even
different than the nurses that come in and out of the room with various
shifts and all that. After all is said and done, I won't see the doula
again (after birth and shortly after with a newborn) but yet I do have to
see friends. I think the most part of that is that I will have to see my
friends, and have them see me in a very sensitive, vulnerable, intimate,
whatever, position. Doulas do this kind of stuff all the time. Friends and
family members don't.

I feel much more comfortable giving birth around people who see it
frequently. I imagine that if people who don't see birth regularly are
present, they are more likely to have the image of me in particular
giving birth burned into their memories.


Since we are discussing doulas, I thought I would mention how helpful I
found having a postpartum doula after my last birth. I knew that I
didn't have family members who could travel to help me at the time my
baby was expected. My postpartum doulas (neither one was available
as many hours as I needed) were very flexible. I didn't need as much
help with the baby as a first time mom, but it was wonderful having
someone there who could fold laundry, get snacks for the kids and me,
make sure the kids were safe, happy and didn't trash the house, and
allow me to rest and concentrate on the baby. Both my postpartum doulas
worked on a sliding scale based on what the mother could afford.

It was nice having them there to talk to too, before I was able to start
going places where I would see other adults. I liked having the
security of knowing the postpartum doulas had some training in
breastfeeding, normal vs. abnormal newborn behavior and recognizing
postpartum depression.

If you think you may need more support than your family
will be able to provide after the birth, you could look into postpartum
doulas as well as birth doulas.

--Betsy