"Sue" wrote in message
news:QsadnWwmr_nyPTTenZ2dnUVZ_tWdnZ2d@wideopenwest .com...
"Circe" wrote in message
You know, I really don't think it is at ALL fair to ask another person to
undergo surgical modification of HIS body for YOUR convenience.

I'm sure Amy and her husband will discuss this in depth before any
decision
is made.

Oh, I'm sure. Still, if her idea of having a discussion is to tell him to
"suck it up" because she gave birth, the chances are not good that the
results will be positive. She can SUGGEST that he do it; she can ENCOURAGE
him to do it; but she cannot FORCE him to do it if he's uncomfortable witht
he idea.

And the "pain" of having the IUD done the first time was next to
nothing--certainly less than my husband would endure if he had a
vasectomy.

There was little to no pain for my husband when he recieved his vasectomy.
He had to ice the area the first night and then was fine.

I didn't need to ice anything after my IUD insertion, so clearly, he
experience more pain than I did. (Note: Not everyone finds an IUD insertion
as painless as I did. Still, chances are pretty good that ANY surgery will
be more painful than something non-surgical.)

My BIL went back
to work after his vasectomy. OTOH, the recovery for a tubal is more than
there is for a vasectomy.

Oh, for sure. Still, if surgical sterilization is the only acceptable route
for a couple and one of them is unwilling to have it done, the only option
(surely?) is for the person who *is* willing to undergo surgery to do so.
Even if it's the less desirable/easy surgery to have done.

As for other methods, I would not be interested in
them. Every one of them seemed like a hassle to me.

Shrug If your husband was willing to have a vasectomy (even if he didn't
like the idea at first; many men don't), then it was not an issue for you.
But if both partners are unwilling to undergo surgical sterilization,
another alternative has to be found, whether it's a hassle or not.

Really, though, I find the IUD so easy and worry-free that it's as good
as
surgical sterilization as far as I'm concerned (and almost as effective
statistically, incidentally--the failure rate is very, VERY low). I think
you should at least try an IUD before you decide that surgically altering
your husband against his wishes is your preferred method of birth
control.

I'm glad it's worked for you and that you find it worry free. I wouldn't
have been so confident

IUDs have something like a 0.1 failure rate. That seems like someone one can
feel reasonably confident about, at least from an efficacy POV!

and I personally wouldn't have wanted anything
foreign inside me.

Ah, but that's just it. YOU don't like the idea of an IUD and you presumably
wouldn't be at all happy if your husband had insisted you get one against
your wishes. I don't see why it's more acceptable or okay for a woman to
insist that her husband get a vasectomy against his wishes. Your desire not
to have anything foregn inside you doesn't seem to me a whole lot more
rational than a man's desire not to have surgical instruments mucking about
with his privates. They seem to me to be equally subjective ideas.

Since we are done with having children no matter what, we
wanted the finality of BC, and a tubal ligation was not covered and a
vasectomy was covered, this was the best option for us.

Sure, it was the best option for you. But not because you just told your
husband to "suck it up". That's really all I was objecting to in Amy's post.
I'm not opposed to vasectomies; I'm just opposed to forcing anybody to
undergo a surgical procedure (or have an IUD or take BCPs or anything else)
against their will. There are nearly always other alternatives.
--
Be well, Barbara