wrote in message ...
I posted a few weeks ago on my situation, and I've got my update to share.
To
catch up, my wife had an affair that presumably led to her getting
pregnant, but
she really thought the child was mine so she never said anything to me,
hoping
it would all go away(naturally). When the guy she had the affair with
made her
take a paternity test, it came back that he couldn't be excluded from
being the
father.

So now, he's brought her(us) to court to attempt to establish paternity.
We've
gotten the best lawyer money could buy, presumably, but there may not be
much we
can do about stopping this kid from doing this in the first place. If
he's
established the father, then he's going to want visitation, to which we'll
attempt to limit, and to petition for child support in return. His
motives for
doing this seem to be pure spite and revenge, and having failed to break
up our
marriage, now he seems intent on staying in her(and my) life for the next
umpteen years.

What's really terrible about this, if in fact the courts find that he is
the
father, is that it's going to absolutely kill my whole family. My wife's
family
it'll hurt also, but they're always going to be family, while my side is
going
to be heartbroken that this child is not of my blood. Not to mention the
contempt they may show her assuming we can manage to stay together
throughout
all of this. This guy has no consideration for what he's done, and quite
likely
is bound to just disappear later on, having proven whatever his point is,
leaving the mess behind. Yes, he'll always have to pay via child support,
but
the damage done will be tremendous.
==
OK, I'm confused. You want to raise this child, as your own, with no
involvement
from his bio dad but you want child support? I can't imagine a judge
agreeing to
child support without visitation/parenting rights since this father wants to
be involved
in his child's life. Methinks you want to have your cake and eat it too,
which is likely
what the judge will tell you. More questions--how can you lay this entire
matter solely at the feet of the other man? You do realize that your wife
had a significant
part in this mess, right? You do realize that she could have said "no,"
instead of
choosing to have an affair and thereby leaving at least 4 victims in her
wake?
==
==