On Thu, 18 Sep 2003 18:51:46 +0000, flopit72 wrote:

I posted a few weeks ago on my situation, and I've got my update to share.
To catch up, my wife had an affair that presumably led to her getting
pregnant, but she really thought the child was mine so she never said
anything to me, hoping it would all go away(naturally). When the guy she
had the affair with made her take a paternity test, it came back that he
couldn't be excluded from being the father.

So now, he's brought her(us) to court to attempt to establish paternity.
We've gotten the best lawyer money could buy, presumably, but there may
not be much we can do about stopping this kid from doing this in the first
place. If he's established the father, then he's going to want
visitation, to which we'll attempt to limit, and to petition for child
support in return. His motives for doing this seem to be pure spite and
revenge, and having failed to break up our marriage, now he seems intent
on staying in her(and my) life for the next umpteen years.

What's really terrible about this, if in fact the courts find that he is
the father, is that it's going to absolutely kill my whole family. My
wife's family it'll hurt also, but they're always going to be family,
while my side is going to be heartbroken that this child is not of my
blood. Not to mention the contempt they may show her assuming we can
manage to stay together throughout all of this. This guy has no
consideration for what he's done, and quite likely is bound to just
disappear later on, having proven whatever his point is, leaving the mess
behind. Yes, he'll always have to pay via child support, but the damage
done will be tremendous.

Not to be mean or spiteful by asking this, but are there people out here
that have fathered a child with a married woman, and tried to make himself
part of that child's life, when the woman didn't want any part of it? It
just doesn't make sense why someone would want any part of it, especially
if it was assumed from the start that the child wasn't his. Why keep
digging, unless it's for spite? There won't be much child support paid
out, since the kid has no job and is a complete loser. Maybe one day
it'll come back to bite him, but the child is never going to understand
any of this. Why should he suffer later on in life, knowing that he was
the worst mistake his mother could have made? Of course his mother will
never say that, but if it cost her her marriage to me, does she not ever
resent him?

It's a no win situation to say the least. The right thing would be for
this guy to go away, but that's not going to happen. If I manage to get
through all of this, and keep my marriage, there won't be a day that goes
by that I don't wait for my revenge...

First court date is coming up, in which we respond to the lies in his
petition, and ask the court for our own blood test. Maybe by some miracle
I won't be excluded either. The more I look at him, the more I still
think he looks a lot like me. I'm told he looks nothing like this other
guy, but I also know that doesn't mean a thing.

Your married to her right? She wants to stay married, right? So, this guy
doesn't even have a case. It's been decided and its written in the law.
Same as a sperm donor. Afterward, the only person who has standing is the
mother and the presumed father, the one married to the mother.He and his
attorney may make a lot of noise, but they really have nowhere to go with
this, except to spend a lot of money and create problems.

On the last part. If he looks like you, he's probably yours. If not,
who cares, he's still yours. Tell him to take a flying F---!

~ Dani