"Julie Seely" wrote in message

Okay, a word from the other side of the fence. First, I will say that I
value politeness and respect in kids, and expect it from my own kids,
and notice it from others'. But when my kids were little and just
learning to talk, and had a very limited vocabulary, I'd be *darned* if
I was going to waste a few of those precious words on "please", "thank
you", "excuse me" etc. I wanted real, meaningful words that actually
told me something about why they were crying or what they wanted. If
there wasn't a please tacked on, I wasn't going to sweat it. \


I agree, but I should have been more clear about what I have been doing. I
am asking them for the "please " when they whine, first thing. That is,
Jacob, especially, has a tendency to, when he wants his milk or juice,
immediately look at the refrigerator and start whining, and doing the "J"
sound (he thinks milk and juice are one and the same, so he's asking for
juice). I am trying to break him of that by saying that there is a better
way of asking for things. He catches on real quick.

But under the scenario you describe, if they ask for something somewhat
nicely but leave the "please" or "thank you" off, I'm likely to not make a
big deal out of it.