Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Okay, first things first, and repeat it as many times as
you, your husband, or your boys require until they get it:
BREASTFEEDING IS NOT SEXUAL.

Actually, I wouldn't start saying to them that BREASTFEEDING IS NOT
SEXUAL unless there seems to be some specific reason to make it an
issue. While I have very limited experience with teenage boys, I
strongly suspect that they'll be far more uncomfortable with their
stepmother making a big speech about how BREASTFEEDING IS NOT SEXUAL
than they would with you breastfeeding.

What I would do is this: Make sure the fact that you're going to be
breastfeeding gets mentioned at some point before the birth, but, if you
possibly can, do this in a way that works naturally into the
conversation. "Got to go out and buy some more baby supplies this
weekend - what do we still need? Let's see - at least we don't have to
worry about getting more than one or two bottles, since I'll be
breastfeeding." "The antenatal class was cool. I got some good advice
about breastfeeding, and it looks as though that's going to go OK." Get
the picture? Probably better if they're aware - but definitely better
_not_ to make a big thing out of it.

Then, after the birth, just go ahead and breastfeed. If they look
awkward about it, try to ignore that and continue to act as if it was
natural. (It can be an awkward moment for _anyone_ at first. My family
were all completely pro-breastfeeding and would probably have been
astonished and shocked if I hadn't breastfed, but when it came to the
actual reality of sitting there and talking to me while I breastfed, my
mother and sister were incredibly awkward the first time it happened. I
still remember how acutely uncomfortable it was to sit there with the
two of them staring at me as though I was a zoo exhibit while making
stilted must-try-to-act-natural conversation. A few days down the line,
they were used to it and nobody cared any more. The same may very well
be true for your boys - don't read too much into it or get too worried
if they need a little time to get used to it. Acting natural and not
saying anything is probably a much better way to get it to seem natural
than making a big deal out of it.)

If it really seems to be a problem that isn't going away, you may have
to discuss it. And this may even be something you can do as a joke,
depending on how they raise their objections - if one of them complains
loudly that it's ICKY, then just grin at him and make some teasing
comment. If you really do feel that one of them is having a lot of
difficulty with it, have a gentle chat with him at a private moment.
But don't assume that this is going to be necessary - just act as though
breastfeeding is the natural and obvious thing to do, and see whether
they'll accept that.


All the best,

Sarah

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"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell