DD has been around her dad, her brother, friends, and relatives since
the day she was born. I've held her no more or less than I did her
2-year-old brother (although I am breastfeeding her and he was bottle
fed). However, at 3 months, she still rarely allows anyone else to
hold her and she generally fights taking a bottle with all her might.
She enjoys watching the world from the Baby Bjorn and will smile
readily at others, but it has to be from the safety of my arms.

I'm sure some of you will point out that we're well-bonded, which, I
agree, is wonderful. But I can't stop real life from encroaching. I
don't care that I can't pass her around at parties. But I work two
days a week from home, and for the most part she gives the sitter (my
husband's aunt) a terrible time. I have to listen to the crying from
my home office, and it breaks my heart as well as makes me fear the
sitter will quit. Worst of all, she screams when her dad holds her for
more than a minute or two, which annoys him, which frustrates her
further, etc. etc.! He has already said that he can't continue to give
her practice bottles--it's too frustrating. And I don't blame him.
He's convinced she hates him (despite my assurances that it's not
personal), and I'm afraid a bond will never develop between them if
this keeps up. Also, frankly, I need a break every once in a while.
Not a long break--I'd take a half-hour if she would just hang with her
dad peacefully. I'd so love to take my son to the park for some
"special time" between just the two of us.

I adore DD beyond words. The love I feel from and for her is
indescribable.Objectively, I feel more bonded to her at this age than
I did with DS at 3 months, much as I wouldn't think that was possible.
No doubt this was helped by the breastfeeding. But this situation is
very draining on the whole family. In some ways, I feel that it's put
us into two camps: DH and DS, and DD and me. I was on modified bedrest
with both of my pregnancies and couldn't lift DS for the whole nine
months--I still regret the time we missed together when he was finally
put into daycare because of my restrictions. Now, I *still* can't give
him the attention I want to, unless I choose to put DD down and let
her scream.

Has anyone else encountered this? Does it get better with age? I
thought stranger anxiety came later, like around 5 to 7 months!

thanks,

wizardcat
DS 7/02
DD 3/04