"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 18 Jun 2005 22:02:29 -0500, John
the following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

On Fri, 17 Jun 2005 01:52:33 GMT, 'Kate wrote:

Repeat that it's time to pick the crayons and that if you pick them up,
they will be put away in the trash because that's the new rule. Then
ask, "Are you sure you want me to pick them up?" and if he says yes or
mimics me again, I'd pick them up and throw them away. Period. The
next time, I'd say, "Remember the new rule? If I have to pick your toys
up, I will throw them away." Eventually, he'll catch on.
snip

In the trash? Really? Doesn't that get kind of expensive? I mean,
assuming that these are toys that you actually want the kids to have
(like the crayons in the example; kids need crayons) then you'll just
have to replace them. Why not put the *toys* in timeout for a few
days? Maybe one day per year of age? That is what we used to do when
our kids were little. (Depending on the behavior, the kid might also
have gone in timeout - at one minute per year of age, usually.)

BP

It's usually not something that has to be done more than a couple of
times and guess what? The parent picks the toy to get rid of! Frankly,
if your child is old enough to clean up, and willfully doesn't when
told, it's better to throw out (donate, or put away) a toy or two than
to have to repeat the lesson when he's 10, 13, 15, 22. I chose to put
the toys away. As I said, I still have toys in the attic from when the
teens (and one young adult) were learning. I will pull them down again
for the grandchildren (if ever).

I think, perhaps, that some parents are afraid of being too "mean". Or
they think that money is more important than a child. It seems like lax
parenting to let a child abuse a parent, a toy, or a privilege with
little to no direct penalty. If you don't take care of your stuff, then
it gets taken away, period. What is difficult to understand about that?
If you forget to lock your car or don't maintain it, how long will you
have it? The real world has real penalties. It's the parent's job to
teach it before the kid grows up and becomes a menace to society.

'Kate

Yeah I'm in complete agreement. I'm not here to be my child's friend, I'm
here to teach them to survive in the real world and if throwing out
something they value helps accomplish that, I'm all for it. I am a mean Mom
on a constant basis, but I feel no guilt because they need rules, and they
mean nothing if I'm not willing to enforce them.

Christine