"Chris" wrote in message
...


No we're not. You're confused. He sends his half of the basic needs,
she
spends it on the child's basic needs. Her money that she earns that she
was
spending on his half of the basic needs before is now freed up for her to
put a bit away. Soo, not that hard to understand.

She can't have that "safety net" without receiving HIS money. Therefore,
it
is HIS money that is being "put away". Not hard at ALL to understand.

chuckle Perhaps you will feel better when your child support obligation
is finally paid off, Chris.


Savings for emergencies is "his money". Because, without some contribution from
the other parent, Sarah would be too strapped to put anything away.

One reason (besides all the various people and situations I know) I pay some
attention to CS issues is a coworker way back in my teens at a truck stop on
Colorado. She had a long term boyfriend, had a child, they split up. We were
waitresses. She had *nothing* for herself, and it showed. In her mid-twenties,
she wore no makeup, pulled long untrimmed hair back, and borrowed panty hose
from the rest of us for the waitress uniform (this was the '70s, required for
the uniform, the bare-leg look definately wasn't in.)

She finally got court-ordered CS after wage garnishment (back when it took a
long time to do that), and, gosh forbid, actually paid us back some panty hose,
bought makeup, and got her hair colored and trimmed for the first time in years.

That man stormed in screaming at her "BEEEAAAAYYYIIIIICCCCH! THAT's what you're
doing with MY MONEY!"

He got his ass kicked out by the manager and a couple of the cooks, but it sure
was a lesson. She quit and went elsewhere. But it was scary as hell.

"His" money. Yeah, she took 'his' money to not be impovershed anymore. If
there were a trustee like I've been suggesting, it'd be that she would be able
to save a weeks' tips and wait for the next paycheck to do that, maybe a few
days later than she did, and put 'his' money directly to the rent. Because she
no longer had to scratch to make up for - 'his money'.

I know most, by far, situations aren't like that. But time and time again, just
like here, I've seen that attitude in one way or another.

My officemate is a NCP with a new marriage and new little boy. He and another
divorced man were grousing about a winter coat he saw his ex wearing. "You KNOW
what money paid for that winter coat." Well, within a month the local paper
featured and article about a great performing arts camp - his two older boys
were pictured performing there. I know what camps cost. "His" money was going
to his two boys.

Winter coat my ass.

Banty