"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , teachrmama says...

snip for length

Well, yeah...we saved for three years.. and it's gone, all spent on
plane
tickets and stuff, y'know.

:-/

Jealousy. Envy. Not good things. Really common, especially in divorce
situations.

Unfortunately, people tend to compare what they *don't* have with what the
other one *does* have.

It's worse than that - they compare waht they don't have with what they
*think*
the other one has. Like that wellspring of funds I musta pulled the
London
travel money from.

And children are all too often usedas weapons and/or
excuses. I had a little girl in my kindergarten class a few years ago
whose
parents were divorced. Mom had remarried and had a new baby. Child lived
with mon and stepdad. Both worked full time. Bio dad had been laid off
when a major industry in town shut down. He had to give up his apartment
and move back in with his parents. He trook day jobs whenever he coud
find
them, but could find nothing permanent. He came to all the school events,
but was treated like a fifth wheel by mom and step-dad. (He always looked
so sad) The mom told me one day in spring that the child would be off for
a
week because they were going on vacation.--the child excitedly said they
were going to Disneyland. When she came back a week later, I asked her
how
Disneyland was. She sadly told me that they didn't get to go to
Disneyland
"because my daddy doesn't pay enough child support." Even if dad were
living high on the hog, why would you tell an innocent little child such a
thing? But this man was impoverished, doing the best he could, and was
obviously treated as second class by the new little family--that had 2
working adults supporting 2 children. Is THAT what child support is
supposed to be for? If mom lost her job, wanna bet she would be in court
demanding more from dad?



There's no way to know the real reason for the cancelled Disney trip (it
all
comes down to priorities)

No, that was the reason--mom told me later.

but they *never* should have brought CS up AT ALL to
their kid about that. Consider though at that age if she isnt' getting
things
mixed up.

About the fifth-wheel stuff - it happens, but not that often, that ex's
can be
very comfortable with each other at something like a school event. Usually
they're off standing off from each other. You might be expecting too much
there.

Well, you had to be there, I think. I have seen parents uncomfortable with
each other, but this was different.